Chevy Van
by Haitus80
Summary: He left with little more than the clothes on his back and a beat up van. She left with little more than the clothes on her back and a camera. A boy with no destination and a girl with dreams of grandeur. She was hitching a ride and he ignored the warning bells and gave her one. They discover a lot about themselves on their cross country trek. I still hate summaries...
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I'm not sure if I still have any readers out there, since I haven't posted anything in over a year, but if you're reading this then, hello! I've been in hiding. I wrote this story about 3 or 4 years ago and stuck it on the shelf with the others. It is finished, but it has a sequel that is not. That's a bit of a complicated situation so there will be more about that later. Anyway, I'm not even sure why I decided to finally post this. I really didn't think I would be back. I wanted to age gracefully and fade out like a true OG Caryl writer but... I guess I've changed my mind and decided to at least put this one out there. Hope you all are doing well and hope you enjoy this one if you plan on sticking around and giving it a shot! =)**

 **Chapter One**

Carol filled the sink with cold water and leaned over the porcelain rim, watching her wobbly reflection on the surface. A single crimson drop hit the water, distorting her image further, marring it. Another drop had her grimacing but she couldn't look away. The drops were fading to pink as the water deluded them but they were soon joined by another and then another. She leaned down and plunged her face in, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. The coldness stung but it felt better than the burn of humiliation that she knew was written all over her face.

Today had started out perfectly normal. She had gone to work at the stupid sandwich shop. The shop that made her smell like pickles by the end of the day because God knew that pickle scented women were sexy as hell. She had cashed her meager paycheck and then handed every bit of it to her sleazy landlord. She had made herself a feast of Ramon Noodles in a cup and peanut butter crackers. Ed had come to visit her. They had watched a stupid show and sat their awkwardly for a few hours. Then things got tense.

She was sitting there, minding her own business when he stood up, got down on one knee and, to her complete horror, presented her with a ring. He asked her to marry him. She had sat there, dumb struck, staring at the offending object with a mixture of disgust and mild amusement. He couldn't have been serious.

But he had been.

Eventually she had shaken her head, looked him right in the eye and told him that he needed to leave. She had been planning on calling it quits with him anyway. She just hadn't known how to go about it. How could he think she would marry him when they had only been dating for five months? They had never discussed the future. They had never slept together. They rarely even kissed and when they did she had been left grimacing. When had he gotten it in his head that she would ever, in a million years, say yes to a marriage proposal? She wasn't even nineteen years old yet!

He hadn't taken the rejection well, either...

 _"_ _What the hell do you mean, I need to leave?" He barked, causing her to flinch._

 _"I mean, I can't marry you. I barely even know you. I think it'd be best if you just went home."_

 _He stood up, shoving the black box back into his pocket and glared down at her. "You think you can just humiliate me like this and get away with it?" He roared._

 _"_ _You're doing a perfectly fine job doing that on your own, Ed. I want you to leave."_

And that was when it had happened. He had hit her. He had slipped up a few times during their brief emotionless relationship, showing her that there was an ugly temper brewing under that dull facade. It was another reason she hadn't been very interested in pursuing any kind of meaningful relationship with him. That and the fact that he was boring, not very attractive and they didn't have anything in common.

She looked up, finally taking in her reflection in the mirror. It wasn't as bad as it could have been. He could have really done some damage but she had a bloodied nose and that was the extent of her injuries. He had then dared her to call the police. His father was the police chief. It would have done her no good. She wiped her eyes and stood up, drying her face on the dingy hand towel and then holding it up to her face so it would soak up the blood. She sat down on the closed lid of the toilet and waited for the bleeding to stop.

She puzzled over what could have made Ed believe that there was a chance in hell that she would accept his proposal. Maybe it was because he basically knew her story. Her father had ran out on her and her mother when she was only six. Her mother had lost her battle with cancer shortly after Carol's seventeenth Birthday. She had no friends, since most of hers from high school had gone off to college. She had no other surviving family members. She was completely alone in the world. That had been the reason she had kept him around in the first place. He had at least been another living human being to talk to.

And that was why he thought she would accept. Like he was doing her some great favor. Because her life was so devoid of... life... that she would jump at the chance to have a husband despite the fact that she was technically still a teenager. A teenager that had no one. A teenager that had a horrible job in a hole in the wall sandwich shop. She never had any money. She ate canned soup for dinner more often than not. The apartment, if you could call the one room, bug ridden hole an apartment at all, had been furnished when she moved in. The only things she really had were the clothes in the drawers and her camera. The camera being the only thing of value she had ever had.

It had been a gift from her mother four years ago, when her mother was still in decent health. She had saved for months to buy Carol the camera that she had wanted. Carol hadn't asked for it, knowing that some people didn't even spend that kind of money on their first car, but her mother had been determined. Carol had aspirations. She had dreamed of being a photographer. And not one of those photographers that took out of focus photos of wilted lettuce. She wanted to capture images of people. She wanted to immortalize moments that could otherwise be so easily forgotten. She wanted to catch movement. She wanted to capture the way the light could change the color of someones eyes. She wanted so badly to make it. But she was doing nothing. She was going nowhere. And even a big dumb slob like Ed Peletier could tell.

She stood up and ran a hand through her damp hair. She was so angry at herself and she didn't know how to deal with that. She wasn't used to feeling so outraged. Outraged because her life had seemed doomed from the get go and it seemed like she was living out some kind of dark destiny. Like she was meant to fail and to drift and to...

She opened up the shoe box sized closet and jerked her gym bag down from the shelf. Throwing open her drawers she started shoving clothes into the bag, not even paying attention to what she was grabbing. She hurried to the bathroom, throwing her toothbrush, tooth paste and other essentials on top. She wasn't doing this anymore. She wasn't wasting her life for one more minute. She would head out west. She would make it. And if she died getting there then at least she died doing something other than this.

~H~

He hit him again, and again, and again. The man wasn't moving anymore. Maybe he wasn't even breathing anymore. Daryl didn't care. When he finally stood up and stumbled away from the bloody heap on the floor he was barely aware of where he was. Of who he was. The son of a bitch wouldn't touch him again. He would kill him first. Hell, maybe he already had. He didn't care. He turned his head, spitting blood onto the dirty floor, running his tongue over his teeth to make sure the old bastard hadn't knocked any out when he had attacked him. They were all there but more blood filled his mouth. He realized then that his lip was split. It must have happened when the soft tissue had been driven against his bottom teeth by the force of the hit his father had given him as soon as he had walked in the door. He spit again.

The house was trashed. There were beer bottles scattered all over the floor, broken glass, food that had been moldering on the counter. And in the middle of it all was his father. He studied the still form as he tried to catch his breath, his bare chest heaving. He took a few steps towards the man and kicked his leg. A soft groan escaped him, letting Daryl know that he hadn't killed him. He wasn't even sure how he felt about that. If the man was dead then at least he wouldn't ever hit him again. He'd never have to deal with the pain or the blood or the verbal beatings.

He was barely eighteen years old. He was a high school drop out, with no real future in sight. He had no job, no money and no way to escape. Just a piece of shit Chevy van and the drive to get away. He had to get away. Merle was overseas. His mom was dead and buried. And if he stayed in this house he would either kill his father or his father would kill him.

He used his foot to roll the man over, grabbing his wallet out of his back pocket. He opened it up, yanking out the bills and shoving them into the front pocket of his jeans. He knew there was more in the man's sock drawer. He tossed the wallet down and left the room, hurrying down the hallway and ransacking the room. He was getting the fuck out of here and he needed every dollar he could find to get him as far away as he could get. Once he was sure he'd looked in every hiding spot his father had he went to his own room, going through his drawers and throwing his clothes into an old gym bag. There wasn't anything else in the house that he wanted to take. He didn't have any memories here that were worth a damn.

He walked back to the kitchen, his bag slung over his shoulder. His father was pulling himself up off the floor, leaning into the counter for support. He turned cold eyes on Daryl then.

"I'll end you for this you piece of shit," he wheezed.

Daryl shook his head and turned on his heel, kicking bottles and glass out of his way. He wasn't going to waste any more breath on this man. He wasn't going to lose anymore sleep over this man. As far as he was concerned, the son of a bitch was dead already.

He left the door open as he stormed out, not even looking back as he climbed into the old van. He drove until he reached a Stop N Go gas station that had a bathroom accessible from the outside. It was dark so he wasn't too worried about anyone noticing his appearance. He tapped on the door but there was no response from inside. He wasn't about to go in and ask the cashier for the key so he pulled out his license and quickly jimmied the door open.

He went to the mirror, already turning on the cold water and grabbing some paper towels. It looked worse than it probably was. His lip was split but the bleeding had stopped. There was drying blood covering his chin and the front of his shirt. After he cleaned himself up he studied his face. Other than his lip he looked okay. He hadn't let his father beat him like he had in the past. This time he had fought back as soon as the man hit him. Fought back was a bit of an understatement.

He went back out the van and rummaged through his bag until he found another shirt he could slip on. When he went inside the gas station the bored looking guy behind the counter barely glanced up from his magazine. Daryl grabbed a Coke and a few bottles of water for later. On his way to the counter he spotted a rack out of the corner of his eye. He stopped, looking over the pamphlets and road maps that were advertising a lot of the lower forty eight.

He stared at them, his mind spinning with ideas. He had no destination. He had nothing left keeping him here. Suddenly, the possibilities seemed limitless. He grabbed several of the pamphlets depicting states out west and then a road atlas.

He paid for his stuff, plus a fill up for the van and hurried out the door. He was leaving. He wasn't exactly sure where he was going. He didn't know how long his money would last. He didn't even know if the van would make it out of Georgia. But none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was that he was getting the hell away from this place and everything it stood for.


	2. Chapter 2

**Huge thanks for the love! I felt like a first timer when I posted last night since it's been so long. All nerves, I tell you. And yes, I got the inspiration for this story when I was listening to that old Sammy Johns song 'Chevy Van'. That happens to me a lot. Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks so much for reading! =)**

 **Chapter Two**

She hadn't thought this through very far. Her legs were killing her. Her back was killing her. It was brutally hot. Why hadn't she decided to hit the road when it wasn't the middle of August? She had slept in a park and had only been able to catch a ride from two truckers that had assumed she was some kind of prostitute. She hadn't made it very far at all and she was miserable.

She had used her last ten dollars at a small grocery store off the highway. She bought bottled water and granola bars. Ten dollars worth. That should keep her from dehydrating for a few days anyway. She had been so determined to just leave and restart her life that she hadn't even bothered to grab a pair of decent shoes. She had known it would be hot so she had changed into a tunic dress, grabbed her sandles and sunglasses and left. Now she was walking on the grassy shoulder of the highway, barefoot and wishing that she had just thought this through better, came up with a solid plan instead acting on impulse. She had a bad habit of doing that, acting impulsively, but never to this extreme. Then again if she had given herself time to let the doubts set in, she would have never left that apartment.

She stuck out her thumb as she walked, hoping that no cop caught her hitchhiking because she was sure that it was probably illegal. Hell, everything was now days. Honestly, she didn't think that she would have this much trouble hitching a ride. She was a female. She was showing off an ample amount of leg. Surely she looked harmless. They probably thought she was some doped up hippie. It was one of the downsides of preferring bohemian style clothing but today she was grateful for the light flowey material. It was keeping her from dying of heat stroke.

~H~

He had slept in the van and it had been a bad idea. He thought it was going to be pretty great since the van was only a two seater and there was a mattress already in the back. It was just a few steps down from an RV. He changed his mind when he had woken up covered in sweat. It wasn't like he was able to take a damn shower and he knew he smelled like ripe hell. He was surprised that he had slept a solid eight hours but that explained why the van was so damn hot. He'd been parked in the sunshine for hours.

It was after eleven in the morning so he wouldn't be catching breakfast at any fast food joints. Instead he went through the drive thru and ordered four dollar burgers and the largest sweet tea they had. He needed sugar.

Other than being a sweaty fucking mess he was feeling good about leaving. Sleeping in the van wasn't going to be so bad. He wasn't letting himself dwell on what he was going to do once he blew through the money he had stolen, which ended up being more than he thought he would end up with. He left the house with a little over five hundred dollars in his pocket and if he played his cards right he was sure that would get him pretty damn far. Far enough? He wasn't sure if he could ever get far enough.

He had scarfed down two of the burgers, ignoring the sting from his busted lip. The tea helped ease the sting anyway. The radio was basically shit but he found a station that played classic rock that came in with minimal white noise. He was feeling pretty good. He was happy about his decision.

And then he saw her.

The first thing he noticed was a pair of bare legs. Up ahead was a woman walking along the shoulder, her thumb up. Flicking his gaze from the legs to the road, back and forth, he let his eyes roam up a little further. A pair of sandles dangled from her hands, hips swaying to the rhythm of the song on the radio as she walked, auburn hair pulled back in a messy bun. The dress she wore was white, longer on the sides than in the back, flowey and loose like something a damn hippie would wear.

"Not your circus, not your monkey. Keep drivin'," he mumbled to himself as his eyes continued moving from the woman to the road. He did just that, ignoring the urge to hit the breaks. That was, until he glanced over as he passed her and she actually looked over. Her eyes met his for a second before she was gone and once he got a good look at her face he cursed himself for being a dumb ass and then slowed, pulling over. "What the fuck is wrong with you. So she's got nice legs. It ain't like you're gonna get between them," he muttered under his breath. He knew that wasn't why he stopped. He stopped because she didn't look a damn day older than him and bad things happened to girls out on the road. He just didn't want to have to wonder if this damn girl died the day he didn't pick her up.

"Hey, thanks," a breathless voice muttered from the passenger side window.

He steeled himself and looked over. She wasn't making a move to open the door, instead opting to study him from a safer distance. He didn't know what the hell to say to her and he wasn't going to just sit there and gaze into some strangers intense blue eyes so his gaze dropped to her mouth.

"Listen, thanks for stopping but you need to know up front that I'm not some kind of prostitute. I will not be putting out for a ride. I'm not going to give you a hand job and my mouth isn't going anywhere near your penis. With that said, you still up for giving a girl a lift?"

His mouth went dry and he was sure that his eyes were about to pop out of his head. He felt the heat rise up from his chest to his neck and then his face. Even the tips of his ears were burning hotly. He tried to think of something Merle might say in a situation like this but that just made the heat get hotter. He realized his mouth was hanging open so he closed it quickly. She was still staring him right in the eye, her head tilted slightly to the side as she studied him.

"Well? Can I get a ride without having sex with you or not?" One eyebrow shot up.

"Yeah," he managed. "I'll give you a ride. We're too?"

She pulled the door open and climbed in. "Anywhere."

He frowned, studying her as intently as she had him. She looked tired and hot, like she had been in the sun for a while. Her bare shoulders were pink and so were her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. "Guess that's good cause that's exactly where I'm headin'," he muttered as he pulled back onto the deserted highway. "Just tell me when to stop."

"Sure thing," she said quietly.

He felt like a fucking idiot for stopping. He should have just kept going. The van was silent since he had to just turn off the radio once the station faded out all the way. The silence was thick and awkward and he kept glancing over at her and every time he did he would catch her looking at him.

"I'm Carol," she said after what felt like twelve hours but had probably not even been thirty minutes.

He snorted. "Daryl," he said quietly.

"We rhyme."

He looked at her again and this time he didn't look back at the road right away because she was grinning at him and it lit up her face. When the hell was the last time he had a reason to smile like that? He felt the corner of his mouth lift before he looked back over.

"So, how old are you?" She asked.

"How old are you?" He countered, not wanting to tell her that he was only eighteen in case she was older than him.

"Eighteen."

"Yeah, me too," he said, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

"Are you going to tell me where you are heading now?" She asked after another few minutes of silence.

To buy a little time he grabbed the cup and took a few long sips. "I don't have anywhere specific in mind. I'm just goin'."

"Really?" She asked, turning in the seat and tucking her legs under herself.

He nodded.

"So, you just get in fights and travel around?"

He shook his head. "I don't run around getting in fights."

"You have a busted lip and I noticed your knuckles right away. I was kind of having second thoughts about riding with you when I saw your hand."

He looked at his knuckles. Bruised and battered. "I got in a fight but I don't make it a habit of getting into fights."

"So, we're heading west and we have no destination in mind?"

He felt his brows come together in a frown. "We?"

She sighed. "Hey, it was worth a shot. I'm just trying to get as far from Georgia as I can. You can't blame a girl for trying to bum a ride for as far as she can get."

He turned onto the exit ramp, heading towards the interstate. He knew he shouldn't say anything. He didn't know her and it wasn't his problem. "How far west you want to go?"

"I need to get to California."

He merged into traffic, unable to look away from the road to gauge her expression. "What's in California?"

"Dreams. I want to be a photographer."

He snorted. "That seems like one of them dreams you can catch anywhere."

"I guess."

This was fucking crazy. "And you're gonna hitch rides all the way there?"

"I don't have a choice. Sometimes you find yourself in a situation and the only thing you can do is remove yourself. I was stuck in a rut and so I packed a bag and I got out of it. It won't be easy but I think once I get out there, I can make something of myself."

Her words seemed to bounce around in his brain before he was able to reply. When he did the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could do a damn thing to stop them. "You wanna go to California then I can probably get you there. How much money do you got?"

He risked a glance at her now because the van had grown quiet again. She was staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers. "Are you kidding me right now? Because if you are then that's really mean."

He shook his head. "I don't got anywhere to go either."

"I don't have any money," she said quietly. "But I can try to get some. I mean, people do this all the time, right? There has to be a way."

He shrugged. "I guess maybe I'm bout to find out." What in the _fuck_ was he doing?

"What's that smell?" She asked suddenly.

He flinched at the question. It was probably him after sleeping in the van all night and sweating all over himself. "Uh, I don't know."

"I swear, I've only been away from my apartment for two days and I want real food so bad that I'm smelling phantom burgers."

He breathed out a sigh of relief and reached between the seats, pulling out the bag. "Here."

She snatched the bag from him quickly. "Oh my God. You've got to be the best thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life. A ride, a willingness to drive cross country with a stranger, and now burgers. I think I'm in love with you."

He scoffed and shook his head, that awful fucking heat blazing across his face again. If nothing else, at least this trip got a whole lot more interesting.

"And you aren't going to try to rape me in my sleep or anything? You don't look like a rapist but you never know."

He rolled his eyes. "Trust me, you ain't gotta worry about anything like that."

"You think I'm a dog, don't you?" She asked around a mouth full of food.

He looked at her quickly, a scowl on his face. "What the hell? I never said that!"

She smiled. "Well, you aren't interested in sexual favors. It must be because you think I'm a dog."

What the hell was with this girl? "Not everybody is out there for that. It don't mean they think you're a dog."

"Is that where we're sleeping?" She asked suddenly. She was turned in her seat, looking into the back of the van. "I slept in a park last night. This is gonna be way better."

His grip on the steering wheel tightened. He hadn't thought about that. He wasn't going to sleep with this girl in the back of a fucking van. But he didn't want to sleep on the ground. Not that he wouldn't. He wasn't some kind of chivalrous guy or anything but if it was him sleep in the grass or some girl then he'd rather just sleep in the grass himself. "You can take the van. Whenever we stop I can crash outside."

She shook her head and turned back around. "You don't have to do that. We can share."

Goddamn it... "You don't even know me."

"I know we're stuck with one another for a while, if you're serious about getting out west. We'll have to get to know each other eventually."

He didn't say a word to that. He had a feeling it wouldn't have done him much good to argue.


	3. Chapter 3

**Moving right along! I used to not update on weekends because traffic was always so slow, people out and about and such, so I may not update chapter four until Monday. Hope everyone stays safe out there! Thanks for reading =)**

 **Chapter Three**

She was being extremely stupid. This boy was a complete stranger, obviously at least a little bit violent, and here she was, getting excited about bunking with him in a van. She should have turned right around as soon as he stopped and walked her ass right back home. But there was something about him that didn't cause alarm bells to ring. There was something about him that was much more intriguing than intimidating, despite the busted knuckles and the cut on his lip. It wasn't something she could really explain and regardless of how stupid it was, she trusted him.

It was mostly in his eyes. There was something there, even though he had only met hers a few times and never held them, that had her wanting to know everything there was to know about him. He was shy, that was obvious. He was easily embarrassed. He was hesitant to smile. But she also sensed a vulnerability about him that made her want to get closer to him. And it didn't have a damn thing to do with the fact that he was almost too beautiful to even look at.

She propped her legs up on the dash and ran her fingers along the side of the seat, looking for a lever that would let her tip the seat back a little. She was tired from all the miles she had walked and the little sleep she had managed to get after leaving. When she found it she pulled and then cried out when the back of the seat gave way behind her until she was completely horizontal.

He swerved a little and cursed, likely startled by her shriek. "Jesus! You alright?" He asked quickly. He turned on the blinker and eased onto an exit ramp.

"Yeah," she muttered, trying to push her dress back down over her thighs. She was sure that when he looked over when she yelled like a moron he had gotten a full view of her underwear. She wasn't as easily embarrassed as he seemed to be but that was pretty embarrassing. "Where are we?" She asked as she pulled her legs down from the dash and sat up, trying to find the lever that would bring the seat back up.

"Holly Springs Mississippi. We're makin' decent time but I'd like to find a place to stay for the night. That seat is broken, by the way. I'll fix it when we stop."

She sighed. "So we're out of Georgia." The relief in her voice was clear.

She saw the corner of his mouth tilt up a little as he nodded. "Yeah. We got nearly two states away from Georgia," he mumbled.

They had been in the van for about five hours with just one break. She was ready to stretch her legs and she would have killed for a shower. Her stomach rumbled embarrassingly loud.

"You want me to stop and get some more burgers or somethin'?" He asked, turning onto a busy street and heading towards the promise of fast food.

"Are we camping?" She asked.

He nodded. "This town looks pretty rural. Probably plenty of places off the grid to park for the night." He pulled into the parking lot of a Dairy Queen and killed the engine.

"You sure you can afford food for both of us? I have some granola bars in my bag and I can eat those."

He shook his head. "Nah, here." he handed her a twenty. "Just get whatever is cheapest. I'll be over there." He pointed to a group of trees out behind the building. "Sick of being cramped up in here."

She took the money and opened the door. "Thank you, Daryl," she said, hoping he knew that she was sincere. "I'll pay you back somehow."

He nodded and hopped out, strolling towards the patch of grass and the promise of shade. She watched him for a second before she yanked her bag around, took out her camera and quickly readied it. She was able to snap three pictures of him walking towards the trees and then he turned around, so she had a full view of his profile and snapped a few more as he raised his arms above his head and stretched. Another photo of him running a hand through his hair. Before he could look and realize she hadn't even left the van yet she hurriedly put the camera away and took off towards the building.

She ordered some hot dogs, since that was about the cheapest thing on the menu and then splurged and got herself an ice cream cone. It would be good for him to learn early that he couldn't give a girl money and send her into a place like this without expecting her to buy herself something sweet.

She found him leaning against the trunk of a tree, chewing his thumb nail. His eyes shot up, locking on hers for a few seconds before he looked away. She handed him the bag with a grin. He glanced at her cone and that half smile appeared on his face.

~H~

They sat down in the shade and ate in relative silence. He was rattled enough because he had gotten a full frontal show of her underwear earlier when the stupid seat had nearly dumped her onto the floor. Now he was suffering through trying to not watch her licking the hell out of the oversized ice cream cone.

She looked up at him from under her lashes and he stifled a groan. "You wanna lick?" She asked, holding the cone out to him.

He shook his head quickly, earning him an eye roll.

"I promise I don't have germs. Might make that cut on your lip feel better," she urged.

He shook his head again and her bottom lip poked out a little bit. "I wouldn't have bought it if I knew you weren't going to have some."

He snorted and took another bite of his hot dog to keep from having to say anything. He wasn't good with people. He never had been. She made it exceedingly difficult to keep his distance. Her easy smile and that free way she carried herself was pretty captivating.

"Please?" She asked again after catching more on her tongue. "If you don't I'll feel guilty all night."

"You always so pushy?" He asked.

She nodded solemnly, her eyes widening.

He sighed heavily and surprised himself by gripping her wrist lightly and pulling the cone towards his mouth. He gave it a tentative lick and then leaned back. "There," he grumbled.

"More," she said, sounding incredibly bossy.

"I don't want anymore."

She huffed out a breath and finally he pulled the stupid thing closer and used the flat of his tongue to sweep up the melting mess.

She pulled her hand back, a strange smile on her face. "That was much sexier than I thought it would be. Has anyone ever told you that you have a fantastic tongue?" She cocked one eyebrow at him.

He gaped at her, his heart stuttering out a pounding rhythm as she grinned and then continued licking at the ice cream.

"You shouldn't be embarrassed. It was a compliment. Haven't you ever gotten a compliment before?"

Sure he had gotten compliments before but he'd never gotten complimented on having a sexy tongue. He could only imagine what kind of comments that would elicit from his brother but he wasn't his brother. He wasn't suave. He didn't have the slightest idea how the fuck to talk to girls and he definitely didn't know what to say after hearing something like that.

"I make you uncomfortable don't I?" She asked after he felt some of the heat leave his face.

"No," he said, looking out towards the van. Another few minutes of silence stretched on until she spoke again, this time his head came up sharply.

"This town seems like a decent place. If you want to continue on by yourself, I'll be okay here. I can probably find another ride pretty fast."

He stared her, scowling. "What? Why the hell would I do that?"

She shrugged. "Because you're obviously not having a very easy time with me being around. Some people are just better suited to be alone than others. It's okay if you are."

That was true. He didn't like being around people. Usually any people. But he wouldn't just leave her in some strange town, a whole state away from where he'd picked her up, just so she could catch a ride with a possible freak. "I don't mind you being around," he said, unsure if she would believe him.

"If I do anything that makes you feel like you want to get rid of me just let me know and I'll tone it down. Honestly, though, you're the first person that I've been around that I haven't felt like I've wanted to get away from. My coworkers are all jackasses and my ex boyfriend is a real piece of crap. It's nice to be around someone that I feel so comfortable with."

He was actually surprised that she felt comfortable with him. Not many people felt comfortable around the Dixon brothers. Not people like her anyway. A thought occurred to him then. "Is that what pushed you into just takin' off with nothin' but a bag? An ex boyfriend?"

She met his eyes and he forced himself to hold them. She didn't hesitate before she nodded. "Yeah. I guess my ex knocked some sense into me. I dated him for months but I didn't like him much. I mean, I guess it sounds really stupid but my life has been pretty lonely since my mom died. He came around a lot when I was off work and we hung out. It was pretty much going nowhere. And then the other night we were sitting there watching television and he gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him! Like we were in love or something!"

His eyebrows shot up as her brow furrowed and then she glared off towards the van.

"I told him to leave and then he starts raging at me. He was so angry. I hadn't ever seen him like that. Anyway, he roughed me up a little bit but I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to seriously hurt me. It wasn't that bad. I had a bloody nose but it could have been worse. After he left I realized that my life totally sucked and it was going to suck until I did something about it. So I left."

He was mesmerized by her story. It wasn't exactly like his but enough so that he felt almost like he had found a kindred spirit in her. He quickly shook the thought away. "You didn't have any family or friends you could have turned to?"

She shook her head. "No. I mean, I had friends in high school but they're all gone. Moved on to start their own lives. And here I am. Sitting with a boy I know nothing about, ready to embark on some journey into the unknown. Go Carol," she muttered.

He shrugged. "I don't see anything wrong with your plan. You wanted to do something so you just up and did it. That takes guts."

"You apparently did the same thing," she smiled softly.

He shook his head. "There's a big difference in running towards a dream and running away from a nightmare, Carol. Me and you ain't alike in that aspect." He stilled when he realized that he was revealing a hell of a lot more of himself than he needed or wanted to. "Fuck, you ready to get outta here. I didn't get much sleep either. I wanna get some rest as soon as we lose light." He stood up, dusting off the seat of his pants.

She reached for his hand and he hesitated before offering it to her. Hers were warm in his as he pulled her up from the grass. He was a little more than startled when she didn't let go of his hand right away. She cleared her throat smiled uncertainly and then dropped his hand quickly. "Thank you, Daryl. I'm not sure what the hell I'd be doing if you hadn't stopped."

He had no words for that since he was easily flustered so he gave her stiff nod and then motioned towards the van. "Let's get the hell outta here."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, hope you all have an amazing Christmas, or whatever else you celebrate this time of year! =) Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Four**

He backtracked the way they had came because they had driven through a densely wooded area and that would be the best place they could rest for the night. He just hoped they found an old road that the stupid van could go down so they could be away from the main road. He wasn't sure how much of the woodlands were privately owned and even if they weren't, they could still get kicked off. He wasn't about to put himself in a situation where he would have to flash his license and then make up some excuse as to why his barely legal ass was two states away from home. He had to find somewhere secluded.

To his surprise she was the one that pointed out something he had missed. She grabbed his arm and then pointed. He slowed the van, his eyes finally making out an old grown up road barricaded by a long logging chain with a no trespassing sign attached. He glanced in the mirror to see if the coast was clear and then he pulled the van up to the chain. He shoved the gear shift into park and hopped out of the van. He was surprised when she joined him.

"You think we'll end up getting shot?" She asked in a hushed voice as she sidled up next to him. He could tell she was nervous.

He shook his head. "Doubt it. I do this all the time when I go hunting. You just take the damn sign down and hope you don't get busted. Never had to try to hide a van though. But if somebody starts shootin' you can bet your ass that I'm gonna shoot back."

"You have a gun?" She asked, eyes wide as she watched him work the chain loose from the rusted bolt.

From the looks of it no one had been back here in a long time. The chain felt like it was falling apart in his hands. He looked up at her once he finally had it loose. "Yeah. I didn't know where the hell I'd end up, remember?"

"Can you show me how to use it some day?" She asked, her wide eyes alight with excitement.

He snorted and wiped his hands off on the seat of his jeans. "You never shot a gun before?"

She shook her head and tore the no trespassing sign off the tree. "I have never shot a gun."

"You go ahead and drive on through, I'll put the chain back up," he said, changing the subject. For some reason picturing her handling his gun with her bare ass feet and her too short hippie dress was an extremely erotic thought.

She did as he said and he went ahead and got back in on the passenger side. She maneuvered the van nervously through the twists and turns. It was hard to see because it was so overgrown. He hoped that it was so overgrown that the van's path wasn't extremely obvious to anyone passing by on the road.

"Here's good," he said, looking around at the close trees and dense underbrush.

"You sure? It might actually lead to a house or something."

He shook his head. "A lot of times these roads just lead to the bottoms. I ain't trying to get stuck in the damn swamp."

She turned off the engine, casting them in silence. The only sounds other than the birds and bugs were the popping sounds of the cooling engine. "Do you think we can walk out there a little ways?" She asked, looking out his window at the woods.

He ran his tongue along the cut on his lip absently as his eyes scanned the trees. There was a narrow deer path a few yards away but there was no way she would be able to go into those woods with no shoes on. "I 'spose we could but you're gonna want to put your shoes back on." Something occurred to him them and he gave her a narrow eyed look.

"What?" She asked, curiosity all over her face.

"Why the hell would you come all the way out here with me? Nobody but me knows where the hell you are. Ain't anybody around for miles and miles. The only thing you know about me at all is what I've told you and everything I told you could have been a lie. Why the hell would you do somethin' so fuckin' stupid?"

She studied his eyes for a long time. Much longer than she needed to and he forced himself to hold her gaze, even though he wanted to look away. "Are you going to hurt me?"

He shook his head. "But that don't mean I couldn't. You don't know me from Adam."

She swallowed hard. "I can't explain it. Do you know how many rides I turned down, just because I could tell that it wasn't a smart move? Five. I was hot, thirsty and barefoot and I turned them down because I just had a feeling. I had a different feeling when I saw you."

He finally looked away, feeling like the moment was much too tense.

"What about you?" She asked.

He frowned, glancing at her. "What about me?"

"You didn't know if I had a gun in my bag. You didn't know if I'd end up trying to rob you. Why did you stop?"

He shrugged. "I guess you got a point."

They made their way to the head of the trail in silence. It was so narrow that they had to walk extremely close. He kept telling himself that it was okay. All he had to do was walk and breathe. It didn't matter that their arms were brushing. It didn't matter that she was invading every inch of his personal space. He focused instead on the sounds of wildlife that surrounded them. It was calming. Even though the girl was unfamiliar too him the sounds felt like home and he was okay after a while.

~H~

He was uncomfortable walking so close to her and she knew it. She could feel it in the tense way he carried himself. See it in the hard line of his jaw. She didn't want him to be uncomfortable around her so she tried to think of something to talk about. Something that would maybe ease the tension a little.

"So, you have a gun, does that mean that you're a hunter or an armed robber?"

This got a small chuckle out of him and she silently gave herself a point. "Why does it have to be one or the other?" He asked lightly.

She shrugged. "I'm guessing that you hunt."

"Why is that?" He asked, side eying her.

"Well, for one, you mentioned it back there. And even if you hadn't I would have guessed. because you look like you were born into this. The woods I mean. Like, you don't like to be around people. I'm going to say it's people in general just to keep my own feelings from getting hurt. I would hate to think that you just didn't like being around me. Anyway, you just look like you're in your element out here. The woods even smell like you," she laughed.

He grimaced. "I hope the hell not cause I smell like last nights sweat and a road trip in August."

"I like the way you smell," she said suddenly.

He snorted. "I have a feelin' you ain't been around many people either."

"You smell like sweat and dirt and rain and... If you could bottle the way you smell right now, trust me, you would get a lot of men laid. It's actually extremely distracting."

"You being full of shit is distracting," he grumbled but that blush blazed up to his ears again, causing her to smile.

"Every time I say something nice to you you get embarrassed," she laughed.

He sighed and shook his head but he did seem to relax a little. She was glad for it. They walked on in silence for a while and then he grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks. She looked up, an electric jolt sliding up her spine at his touch. He put his finger to his lips and then nodded in the direction they had been walking. When she looked up she nearly gasped.

There, only ten yards away were four deer. Three adults and a fawn. She watched them as their ears twitched and their heads came up, most likely because they caught their scent. One of them seemed to look her right in the eyes. Carol stayed as still as the deer until, after minutes passed, they finally bolted away.

"That was amazing!" She exclaimed, linking her arm through his and grinning widely.

He stiffened at her touch and she pulled away quickly. His eyes were on her and he swallowed hard pulling in a deep breath and then, to her surprise, putting his hand on her lower back to get her walking again. "You ain't never seen deer before?" He asked, dropping his hand once they were moving.

She shook her head, still too excited to let the obvious fact that he didn't want anything to do with her touching him bother her. "I've seen them on TV but never real ones like that. They're beautiful."

"They're tasty," he noted.

She scowled. "That's horrible!"

"Not if you're hungry and the fridge is empty and it's the only way you can get food in your belly," he explained.

She shook her head. "I still don't know if I could kill one, even for food."

"You could if you got hungry enough."

She shrugged. "I'll tell you what. If I get hungry enough I'll eat a deer, but you have to kill it."

He shook his head. "No dice. You kill it and then I'll show you how to clean it."

She made a face and was about to say something when suddenly the path opened up and she was staring at a slow moving body of water. Her mouth dropped open at the site. She hated that she left her bag back in the van because all she wanted to do was dive in.

"Would you think less of me if I got naked right now?" She asked as her eyes took in the water.

"What?" He asked, sounding like he had surely heard her wrong.

"I haven't had a shower in two days. I've been walking in the Georgia heat for two days. I've been feeling like I'm close to a heat stroke for two days. I really want to swim."

"Naked?" He choked.

She turned wide eyes on him. "Have you ever seen a girl in a bikini?"

He stared at her and then nodded.

"Do girls in bikinis offend you in any way?" She asked, unable to believe what she was about to do but not able to turn her back on that water without getting in it.

"No," he frowned.

She nodded, smiled and then pulled the dress off. "Pretend that this is just a bathing suit," she said as she kicked off her sandals and walked right into the river without a backwards glance.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry this is late! Thanks for reading! =)**

 **Chapter Five**

His mind was beyond blown. He was insecure. He was self conscious. He was painfully shy. He was unsure of himself and his place in the world. But he was also a male. One that was now watching a wild and sexy chick walk away from him in nothing but a bra and a pair of pink lace panties that did absolutely nothing to conceal a perfect ass that gave him the strange urge to sink his teeth into it.

"Are you seriously just going to stand there?" She called over her shoulder once she was waist deep.

He wanted nothing more than to strip and get in himself. She wasn't the only one that had been hot. Goddamn was she hot. He swallowed hard. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't do that. His piece of shit dad had done a number on him growing up and his back was proof of that. If she saw those scars then she'd have questions. She wouldn't look at him the same. She would either pity him or think he was weak. He didn't want people knowing the shit he had gone through.

"Come on. You're the one that said that you stunk. Wash the sweat off. I promise I'll stay at least five feet away from you the whole time." She grinned.

He barely heard a word she said but he did catch the part about her staying away from him if he got in. He trusted her enough to trust she'd stay true to her word. He stripped his shirt off, toed off his boots and walked to the edge of the water.

"Take your pants off. You know how uncomfortable you'll be if you wear those walking all the way back to the van?"

He was wearing boxer briefs and thanks to her little show he was sort of in a bind. There was no fucking way he was taking off his pants so she could fucking look at it. "I'll be fine."

Her hands went to her hips. "Really? You want me to turn around?"

He shook his head. But then she made a great show of turning her back to him. He stood there for a few long moments but she didn't turn to look at him. Cursing under his breath he undid his belt, stripped out of his heavy jeans and dove in about ten feet from where she had waded in because he could tell that it was deeper in that spot. He came up for air, sucking in a shocked breath. He hadn't been expecting it to be so cold but he was glad for it. At least the shock had gotten rid of the fact that he was obviously turned on. And really, if he stayed in the deeper parts, she wouldn't be able to see his scars anyway. Even if she did get close.

He swiped at the hair in his eyes and then caught site of her just as she went under. He narrowed his eyes and scanned the water but there was no sign of her. He swam out further, actually enjoying how cold the water was now. It had been a sweltering day and he really did need to cool off. In more ways than one. When she didn't resurface once he had swam out a ways he was about to panic but suddenly her head popped up and she laughed.

"This is so great," she called as she swam towards him.

He nodded in agreement, once she stopped a few feet away.

"I used to be scared of swimming in lakes and rivers," she said.

"Why's that?"

"I always thought that there would be a dead body in the water and I would end up touching it."

He laughed. "No shit? I used to think the same thing. Didn't help that my brother told me that he killed people and put them in the damn lake just so I could end up stepping on them. He was a real bastard sometimes."

"You have a brother?"

He nodded. "He's military. He's been over seas for a few years now though."

Her smile faded. "Any other brothers or sisters?"

He shook his head.

"Do you have anyone at all?"

He shook his head again.

"Just like me." Her smile returned but it was a sad smile. "I lost my mom not long ago and I never had any siblings."

He didn't want the moment to turn dark. He never did other things that other guys his age did. It was a scary thought that getting mostly naked and swimming in a river with a girl was about the most normal thing he had done in a long time. He was actually having fun and wasn't ready for it to end. He never had fun. So he cupped his hand, aimed, and launched a perfect stream of water that hit her right in the face.

She screamed in surprise, wiping her eyes and sputtering. "You ass!"

He couldn't help but laugh at her outrage and then he realized he had laughed twice. He never laughed. It actually felt strange. Once she had wiped the water out of her eyes she glared at him. He held up his hands in surrender. "That was an accident."

She narrowed her eyes and then launched herself at him. He tried to back up but suddenly his feet weren't touching bottom anymore and when she placed her hands on his head and shoved him under he went under pretty far. When he came back up he made a grab for her but he didn't have to. She was right there in front of him and then her legs wrapped around his waist. His eyes went wide and he stared at her but she just shook her head. "You try to take me down, I'll just take you with me."

Her body was hot against his and her hands gripped his shoulders. His mind spun with thoughts that she would likely slap him for so he just nodded and tried to get to solid ground so he could pull her off of him. "Okay. Truce," he muttered once his feet touched the bottom.

She grinned and pushed his hair out of his eyes before she kissed him right on the corner of the mouth. It surprised him enough that his hands went to her waist on their own volition but she was already pushing away from him, floating lazily on her back and unwittingly giving him a great view of her body. She didn't touch him again after that and he was grateful. It was still fun though and he hated that they had to leave the place.

"We're losin' light," he called.

She was closer to the river bank than he was so she just nodded and headed that way. He watched as she rose higher and higher out of the water, his eyes roaming over her back until her hips broke the surface.

"Jesus, this girl is gonna cause me to have a fuckin' stroke," he mumbled to himself as he followed her.

He wasn't too far behind and managed to get his pants on, watching as she slipped the dress over her head. He was just pulling his shirt over his head when he heard her speak.

"I can't think of the last time I had that much fun."

He nodded. "Yeah, me neither."

It was twilight by the time they made it back to the van and now it was time for him to get nervous again. There was a twin bed mattress shoved in the back and that was plenty of room for him. He didn't know how the two of them were going to sleep on it without being smashed together though. They couldn't. That was for sure. He got an idea, one that he thought was going to solve his problems, until he mentioned it to her.

~H~

She stared at him with her hands on her hips. She couldn't believe this. "Do you really find me so repulsive that you can't even share the back of your van with me?" She wasn't going to pretend like she was some sort of super model but she wasn't disgusting! She had never been around a boy more averse to being close to her as this one was.

He looked shocked, shaking his head quickly. "I never said that! You'll have more room if I sleep in the seat. It's no big deal. You saw the damn thing. It goes all the way back."

She pulled open the side door and grabbed her bag without a word. She kept her face passive but he was good at reading people's moods. Very good. And she knew that he knew she was in a bad one. Maybe all he was trying to do was save himself from anymore awkward situations. Maybe he just didn't know how to take her and it made him nervous. Very nervous and she was aware of that but she wanted him to loosen up. She wanted him to stop over thinking things and just have a little fun. She didn't want to have sex with him or anything. But she felt safe when he was close, even though she probably shouldn't have but she was going to trust her gut. He was one of the good ones and she knew it. She just wanted him to let go a little bit.

She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a tee shirt, and a bottle of water. "I'm gonna go change and brush my teeth on the other side," she muttered, walking past him and around the van without even looking at him. She thought maybe she should have put on pants too but it wasn't going to matter because he would probably end up sleeping on the side of the road so he wouldn't have to be anywhere near her.

She came back around but he wasn't there and she looked around frantically. It wasn't like he had left her there in the woods alone. The van was still there so there was no chance of that happening. She was seconds away from yelling for him when he came around the side of the van, wearing gym shorts and a different shirt. He stopped in his tracks and blatantly raked his gaze over her before meeting her briefly.

"You're mad," he said.

She huffed out a breath. "I'm not mad."

One eyebrow rose and he met her eyes again. "You're mad."

"I'm fine."

"Oh God. I thought girls just acted like that on TV," he grumbled.

Her hands went to her hips again. "What's that suppose to mean? I just told you I was fine."

"And you ain't fine, so you puff up and have that mad look on your face but then you won't admit that you're mad, for whatever reason. I had no idea chicks really acted like that."

She glared. "I'm not mad. My feelings are hurt. There's a difference."

It worked just like she knew it would work. He shook his head and took a step closer. "What? I didn't do anything to hurt your feelings!"

She shrugged. "I know. Lets just get some sleep. I want to get some more miles in tomorrow."

He sighed dramatically and climbed into the back, sitting down heavily on the mattress. "Alright then."

"I thought you were sleeping on a broken seat?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

He shrugged. "Carol, it's pretty much dark and you're a cranky ass. Lets just get some fuckin' sleep, okay?"

She smiled inwardly and let him pull her up by the hand. "You sure you aren't afraid of catching cooties?" She muttered as she crawled past him.

He groaned but didn't reply. Instead he laid down next to her on his back, his arms folded behind his head. He left the door open and a breeze blew over them. She was glad he didn't close the door. He wasn't relaxed at all. She could feel the tension rolling off of him and she was starting to feel bad. She rolled over onto her side and propped herself up on one elbow.

"Do you want me to take the seat?" She whispered. She could barely make out his face in the dark.

"No, just go to sleep."

"But you're all tense now and I feel guilty."

"Well don't. I was born tense. I'm always tense." His voice was gruff.

She stayed on her side and laid her head down but then raised it up again. "Do you have any pillows?"

He sighed. "I packed in a hurry. Last thing I was thinkin' about were pillows."

"Oh," she muttered, laying her head back down.

She laid there with her eyes open and knew he was doing the same thing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

She was being ridiculous. He hadn't done anything to cause her to feel like that. All he was trying to do was put a little distance between them. And it wasn't even because he didn't enjoy being this close to her. He was a guy, of course he liked the feel of a soft body next to his. But it was a lot. It was sensory overload and she didn't understand that and he couldn't explain it to her. She wouldn't get it. She didn't know what it was like to feel like you couldn't fucking breathe just because someone was too close. She would think he was fucking crazy and maybe she'd be right. Proximity usually equaled pain in his world and he couldn't force himself to relax at all.

She sat up suddenly. "I'm just gonna go sleep up there, okay? I'm not mad about it either. I can't sleep knowing you can't sleep and I really am sorry for putting you in a spot like this. I guess I just feel a little safer with you this close is all."

She didn't sound mad anymore but he flinched regardless, knowing that she was probably feeling bad about herself because he couldn't function like a damn normal guy. Why the fuck couldn't he just be okay with her being there? He wanted too. He wanted to be able to lay there and go to sleep without a care in the world, even though she was right there with no space separating them. He wanted to be that guy that gave as good as he got. He wouldn't ever be able to have normal relationships with people if he didn't just let it the fuck go. But it was hard to do that. Very hard. He didn't understand why the hell she wanted him so close anyway.

She made a move climb over him.

He clenched his teeth, fought back the panic and sat up, gripping her waist. "Don't," he growled, wishing he didn't sound like he was about to maul her.

She stilled and he felt her breath leave her in a rush, blowing over his neck. "You don't want me this close. I get that and it's okay. I swear I'm not mad."

There was a strange understanding in her voice that had his gut twisting painfully. He loosened his grip on her, worried that if he didn't then he was going to yank her the rest of the way on top of him and there was no way he could do anything like that. Not unless he wanted to have a heart attack, but his body and his mind were having a hell of a battle. His mind was telling him to fight or flee. That she was too close. That whole proximity equaled pain reaction flashing in his mind. But his body was telling him that if he wanted her, wanted her right now, he could have her. He lowered himself back down onto his back and she hesitantly laid back down on her side facing him. He moved his arm. "There. Closest thing to a pillow you're gonna get."

She didn't hesitate. She rested her head on his outstretched arm, curling up into his side. He closed his eyes, willing his muscles to relax. She was just some harmless girl that, for whatever reason, seemed to actually like him. After a while it actually worked and he did feel himself start to relax a little bit. It was kind of nice, not being alone out here. And then he realized that this was a lot better than sleeping by himself if he just calmed down and let himself feel something other than suspicion. He finally felt sleep start to pull under.

~H~

She almost couldn't believe that he fell asleep before she did. She hadn't expected him to sleep at all but she was pleasantly surprised when he started to relax and then soon his breathing was deep and even. She was exhausted but she was hesitant to sleep just yet. This was the first moment she had been around him while he was unguarded and she wished that there was more light in the van so she could look at him. Really look at him. She wanted to savor it while she could because she knew that as soon as they woke up, he would reconstruct that wall of his.

She didn't know why she felt so compelled to climb that wall but she did. She wanted him to let her in. Her past was completely depressing. Her future was unknown and terrifying. But right now? Right now was perfect. She didn't want to dwell on small facts like how she didn't really know him. How she didn't know how long they would be traveling together. All that mattered was that right now she felt good. She felt good about herself and the strange situation that she had found herself in. She felt like being close to him like this, whether he liked it or not, was right where she needed to be. She had the strangest feeling that something inside of him needed a little healing and though she couldn't explain it, even to herself, she felt like she was the one that could do that. Not that he needed fixed or anything, but he needed maybe a just a small shove in a different direction. If anyone was ever going to get inside of that head of his, it was her. She would be the first to admit that she never knew when to give up.

He shifted in his sleep and then rolled so he was facing her. The sounds of the night were lulling her to sleep but then she felt his warm breath blow across her lips and she opened her eyes. His face was close, their foreheads almost touching. She was still lying with her head on his arm and now his hand was on her bare hip. She wondered what he did to make them so rough, not that she didn't like it. Ed's hands had been soft, like a woman's.

There wasn't enough meager light coming in through the open doors to see him by but she already knew what he would look like. She felt her eyes drifting closed again, her mind balanced right on the edge of sleep. He muttered something in his sleep but she couldn't catch the words. His breathing suddenly picked up and another sound escaped him, this one sounding almost angry and his fingers dug into her hip almost painfully.

For one horrifying second she thought that he was awake and reacting to her, angry because she wouldn't stop pushing him even though he had made it perfectly clear several times that he didn't want to be pushed. Even though she knew that he didn't want her too keep trying to coax him out of his comfort zone. "Daryl?" She whispered, fear lacing that one word.

He sat bolt upright, his chest heaving and then she realized that he must have been having a horrible dream. He wasn't mad at her and she didn't have anything to be afraid of. She sat up quickly scrambling onto her knees, her hand going to his shoulder reflexively.

He jerked away from her quickly, grabbing her wrist in a grip like a vice. She made a startled sound and he looked over sharply. He dropped her wrist and tried to scoot away from her.

"Hey," she whispered, trying once more to touch him even though he had surely left bruises on her skin. This time he stilled and left her hand where it was.

"Fuck," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. "I tried to tell you that this was a bad idea. You alright?"

She nodded quickly. "Are you? Were you having a nightmare or something?"

He blew out a breath and glanced towards the open door and she knew he wanted to get away from her. She also knew that, against her better judgment, she wasn't going to let that happen. She wanted to show him that not everyone was out to cause pain because even if he never told her, she knew that that was where his mind was. She reached up, turning so she was facing him more, and touched the side of his face.

He tensed and went to grab her wrist again, only this time his grip was gentle and he didn't pull her hand away from his face. She took this as a good sign. "You wanna talk about it?"

He surprised her with a harsh humorless laugh, shaking his head.

She swallowed hard. "You wanna forget about it?" She whispered. She knew this was probably a bad idea but she couldn't help herself. She wanted to show him that she wasn't here to cause anymore damage. She wanted to show him that he could trust her completely and, if she was being honest with herself, she had never wanted anything in her life more than she wanted him to just let her in. Just put down that guard and let her know who he really was. It was so clear that he was so damaged and she desperately wanted to try to show him that she could help.

He barely nodded, giving her the boost of courage that she needed. She traced his bottom lip with her thumb, careful to keep her touch light because of the cut she knew was there. He exhaled sharply, anticipating her next move. When her lips touched his he tightened his grip on her wrist again but it wasn't painful. She had had every intention of kissing him. She would be a liar if she tried to deny it. But she had no idea that touching her lips to his would be such a jolting shock to her system. She knew this wasn't enough. She wanted more because she knew that it could all come to an end at any moment and she hated the thought of this feeling, this weightless, heart stopping feeling, wouldn't be something she'd ever feel again. She slipped her hands into the front of his shirt and ran her fingertips over the hard flat planes of his stomach, to his chest and finally, he pulled away just long enough to tear the shirt over his head. And then he slid his own hand under her hair at the back of her neck and pulled her face towards his again.

She thought he would come to his senses soon and pull away. She thought he would ask her what the hell she thought she was doing. Instead of doing the expected he did the opposite. He actually responded even more. His lips softened against hers and that jolt she had felt turned into an all consuming blaze. A fire that she thought would burn her from the inside out, and that was just from one tiny kiss. She had never felt anything like that before. She moved closer, needing to be closer, and he let her. His hand went to her waist and then she felt his tongue trace the seam of her bottom lip.

All logical thought left her then. At the moment she didn't even truly know who she even was. All she knew was that she needed him and she didn't even know what she needed him for. That small invitation was all she needed before she was somehow straddling his lap, kissing him like she'd never kissed anyone before. She should have been completely ashamed of herself but she wasn't. Regardless of the circumstances, somehow, she was doing exactly what she needed to do.

The sound of thunder in the distance penetrated her clouded mind but the sound only seemed to intensify the moment. His hands were on her hips and then traveled up under her shirt and over her back. She didn't dare even pull back to breathe for fear of breaking this strange spell. She wasn't going to give him time to realize what they were doing because she didn't want to stop.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! These are the types of chapters that used to always make me nervous. Apparently, after six years, that is still a thing but I'm posting anyway lol. On a Saturday! Anyway, smut warning. Those are always nice to add just in case. Be safe out there, people! Much love! =)**

 **Chapter Seven**

His brain was still so muddled by the nightmare that he had grasped on to anything he could to get it out of his head. He would have let her do anything she wanted if it would chase the dream away, including kiss him. So he had let her do just that. He had expected to feel something but he hadn't expected the whole world to drop out from under him. And that was exactly what it felt like. Like a dangerous rush of adrenaline that had him throwing caution to the wind. If Merle were there he would have said that was the moment his balls finally dropped.

He didn't even realize the exact moment that she had actually climbed on top of him. One second she was kissing him and the next she was right there, grinding her hips into his. The heat, the kiss, the way she pressed herself against him had him straining against the thin ball shorts. His eyes snapped open when he felt her hand running down his chest, then his stomach. He had no idea what the hell he was doing but he knew he didn't want to stop, and he sure as hell didn't want her to stop. She didn't go in for the kill, though. The tips of her fingers came back up to his chest, the touch so light he barely felt it, leaving goosebumps in their wake. The kiss was becoming frantic and she came up on her knees, cupping his face before her hands slid back down his throat. The girl couldn't seem to get enough of touching him and it was a strange and exhilarating feeling. His fingers flexed into her hips before he even realized that his hands were on her at all. She didn't object when they slid up over her waist. Her skin was smooth, warm and probably the softest thing he had ever touched in his life. One arm slid around her back, forcing her closer and then he ran his free hand up her side, over her ribs and then, in an uncharacteristic show of audacity, he cupped one firm breast, his thumb grazing over the hardened peak. She gasped into his mouth and arched into him further and he was half out of his mind at this point. He seemed to be doing everything right so far and it gave him a boost of confidence.

He sure as hell wasn't thinking about getting away. He wasn't concerned about what she might be thinking about him and he wasn't worried about not being good enough because it was pretty damn obvious that she thought he was. It was why she got into the van in the first place. Why she had agreed to travel all the way across the country with him. Something seemed to shift in him then, a weird feeling that maybe, he would be alright because nothing outside the van, nothing outside of her, really mattered anymore. At least for now. He didn't have to hide, didn't even want to, and it was the first time he could ever remember feeling like that. Like he was somehow freed from chains he'd never known how to break before.

She finally pulled back, her breath coming in quick pants. "I wanna touch you. Can I?"

Her frantic voice and the question itself caused a rush of blood to head south, causing a painful ache. He didn't just want her to touch him. He was fucking dying for her to touch him. If somebody didn't fucking touch him soon he felt like he would surely explode. "Do whatever the fuck you want," he choked.

Her lips were on his again, hungry and demanding and her hand was sliding down his shorts. Her hand wrapped around him and he groaned. She ran her fingers over the length of him in that feather light touch again, causing him to groan and then he heard her hum a satisfied sound in the back of her throat. He took that as a good sign and it was all he could do not to thrust up into her hand. She gave his chest a small shove, causing him to drop down to his elbows before she removed her hand from his shorts. He thought it was pretty much over then and he was going to have to spend a night with the worlds worst case of blue balls, but then she started working his shorts down his hips, just enough to free him. He was too out of his head to tell her that maybe things were getting out of hand, even though in the back of his mind he thought maybe they actually were. But there was nothing to be done about it now. There was no way in hell he was going to tell her to stop.

Her mouth moved down, trailing his jaw and then his throat and then the next thing he knew she was sliding down, one of his legs trapped between her thighs. He could feel the heat radiating off of her and it had his mouth watering for some reason. His hips jerked when her hand was on him again.

"If I do it wrong then tell me. I've never done this before," she whispered.

"What?" He wasn't sure what the hell she was talking about until he felt her mouth wrap around him. His back fell against the mattress as his elbows gave out and his breath left his lungs in a rush. "Holy shit," he muttered, unable to form a more coherent sentence than that. He didn't expect her to take him all in but goddamn if she didn't try. He wasn't sure what the hell to do with his hands but she didn't seem to share his problem. One hand gripped him at the base, following the same rhythm that she'd found with her mouth and her other hand slid down his leg and between her own.

His head snapped up once he realized what she was doing and he cursed the darkness. Her crotch was pressed right against his leg, so he knew the exact moment her hand slipped down her underwear, actually teasing herself while her mouth worked him.

His pounding heart stuttered in his chest as she moaned around him and then her hips rolled into her own hand. He had never imagined he'd ever be in this situation. A beautiful girl sucking him off in the back of his van while she desperately tried to find her own release. The pressure built, the pleasure more intense than anything he had ever felt before and he hadn't even gotten off yet. She moaned again, rolled her hips and his head fell back down as he gasped for breath. He should warn her. He knew enough to know that a lot of chicks didn't appreciate a mouth full but he was selfish enough to take the chance. If she got mad at him then he'd deal with it. It wasn't like he had forced her to suck his dick. She'd acted on her own volition.

When it happened it knocked the air out of him, a growl erupting from his throat that quickly turned into a pathetic groan when he felt her throat tighten and constrict as she swallowed him down. Lightning flashed then, strobes of white light illuminating the van and for what felt like immeasurable amounts of time, her bright eyes locked onto his and he shuddered. Her fingers were still playing over herself and, amazingly, he was still coming.

As soon as it was over and she raised her head he sat up, gripping her arms and hauling her back onto his lap. It wasn't really fair that she did this to him and actually didn't even have time to finish herself off. He'd never touched a girl before but he had an idea of what to do since he had pretty much felt her doing it to herself. He had no intentions of kissing her mouth anymore, not willing to take that risk, so his lips went to her throat. She threaded her fingers through his hair, tilting her head to the side to give him better access. He didn't ask permission, he simply replaced her hand with his.

"Oh God," she breathed as he explored her.

He was starting to get nervous now. She had it easy. He was a guy and guys were pretty simple. Their equipment was pretty basic, therefor if you jerk on it, lick on it or sit on it, it was pretty easy to please. This shit was like goddamn rocket science and he had no idea exactly how to get her off. She trembled slightly and rocked her hips against him. He had to wrack his brain but suddenly he remembered something from a few years back when he had found Merle's stash of porn. Merle and his dad had been gone for the weekend and Daryl had barely left his bedroom. He tried to recall exactly what the guys in those videos did, not that he thought any of those women were actually enjoying what was being done to them. It was their job to make it look like the guy knew what he was doing but it was a start anyway. He had nothing else to go on and he wasn't about to move his hand and tell her that he didn't know what the fuck he was doing.

Thunder crashed outside of the van as he pushed his middle finger into her. She gasped and then moaned into his neck, tightening her hold on his hair as she trembled against him. So at least he was off to a good start. The rest kind of happened on accident. He moved his thumb as he pushed his finger in deeper and felt her muscles spasm and he felt a flood of heat. He grazed his thumb over the spot again and got the same reaction. Apparently he had stumbled across the magic button. Circling it with the pad of his thumb he moved his finger in a come hither motion, she cried out, nearly scaring the hell out of him.

"Daryl... God, don't stop," she murmured.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he grumbled into her neck.

She tightened her hold on him when her muscles tensed around his finger and then with a hard shudder she was pulsing inside, her breath ragged as she buried her face in his neck. He gripped her hip with his other hand to keep her from falling completely into him. The shudders flowing through her were intense and so were her cries and he was on one incredible fucking ego high. The first one that he had ever experienced. She was completely falling apart, and he was the one making her do it.

By the time the tremors stopped, and he didn't dare quit until they did, his hand was soaked and he realized that outside the open van doors, there was a downpour. She gripped his shoulders and pulled back slowly, trying to catch her breath while he worked on righting his shorts.

She collapsed onto her back and he reached over to slam the van door shut before they both ended up getting rained on. He returned to the makeshift bed and laid down in almost the exact same position she was in. On his back, arms folded behind his head. He wasn't sure what the hell to say and the awkward silence went on and on, neither of them saying a word. What the hell was he suppose to say? _Oh, thanks_ _a ton_ _for_ _the_ _blow job. It was way better than jerking off._ Somehow he didn't think that was post blow job etiquette. So he laid their with his mouth closed and tried to focus on the sound of the rain beating on the van roof.

The thing that bothered him the most wasn't the fact that he couldn't think of anything to say. It was the fact that she wasn't saying anything. She was way more vocal than he was so if anyone should be in charge of doing something about the awkward tension then it should be her.

He wasn't sure how long they had lain there before he finally starting to drift back to sleep. He wasn't plagued by another nightmare. Instead he was plagued by dreams of her. Very vivid dreams of her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hope everyone had a safe New Year! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Eight**

When Carol awoke the next day she was mortified. She didn't want to open her eyes because she didn't want to even look at him after how she had acted. He most likely thought that she was some kind of easy tramp that gave it up to any boy that showed her the least bit of attention. She couldn't believe what she had done. She could still feel his solid form next to her and damn her if she didn't feel heat pool low in her stomach. She clenched her teeth and opened her eyes slowly, bracing herself for the look he was likely going to give her after she pretty much assaulted him.

He was on his stomach with his face turned away from her and he seemed to still be asleep. The light shining in through the windshield in the front of the van was gray and watery and she could still hear the ping of rain on the roof. She moved slowly, raising up and trying her hardest not to wake him up. She wasn't ready to face him after how she acted. Would he expect her to sleep with him now?

She scowled as the thought had her pressing her thighs together to stave off the heavy pressure between her legs that the thought invoked. She was ashamed of herself. She had never acted like that before in her life. But try as she might she couldn't forget how good it had felt to kiss him. To touch him. To taste him. Jesus, she was horrible!

She was able to slip off the mattress without waking him, rummaging through her bag for some clean clothes. She grabbed a pair of black yoga pants and a faded vintage tee shirt. She dressed quickly with as minimal movement as possible to keep from waking him. She still needed time to get herself together. She pulled her hair back in a pony tail and then looked up to make sure he was still asleep. She was at the very back of the van. The angle from her crouched position was perfect and she reached for her camera bag slowly. Humiliated by her own actions or not, she was still mesmerized by this boys mysterious beauty. She snapped a few photos, trying different angles and different filters. She was so absorbed by looking through the lens that it didn't register to her that he was stirring.

He rolled over and sat up quickly, his eyes bleary and his hair mused, probably from her running her fingers through it the night before. He looked up then, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck.

"The hell are you doin'?" He grumbled and then yawned loudly.

She swallowed and then put the camera away. "Nothing," she muttered.

He looked over his shoulder and cursed under his breath as he pulled his bag closer. "We can hit the nearest rest stop and get cleaned up."

"How are we doing on money?" She asked, not looking him in the eye, not that he'd notice anyway. He hadn't met her eyes very much yesterday and she figured today was going to be even worse.

"We'd have more if this damn thing didn't guzzle gas. I figure we'll be okay for a few days at least." He muttered, moving from the mattress to the drivers seat.

"I can get us more. We can stop in a city somewhere for the night," she said as she sat down in the passenger seat and looked out the window.

"How you figure? They don't pay you to stay in their city," he muttered.

She shrugged. "I'll figure something out." She wasn't about to admit to him that she planned on stealing it somehow. She wasn't stupid enough to try to hold up a bank or a convenience store but she figured maybe she could steal somebodies wallet or something. She felt a pang of guilt at just the thought but they needed it and there wasn't any other way for them to get enough to get all the way to the west coast.

He pulled out the map and studied it for a few moments. "Looks like if we stay on I-40 we can get from here to Oklahoma City in under eight hours. We... uh... slept late. It's already after eleven."

"That sounds good to me," she said quietly, her face flushing because they had stayed up later than planned because she had insisted on being a total tramp. She felt her face flush deeper. Gone was the feeling of bravado that she had carried with her the day before. Now she felt just as closed off as he was. What a complete disaster.

He didn't say anything else as they drove down the winding old road. He wordlessly jumped out of the van and removed the chain again, not bothering to put it back up since it wouldn't matter if the property owners happened by and saw it down. They would be long gone and they hadn't done anything to the property. They left it like they had never been there at all.

The rain was nothing but a slow drizzle when he pulled into the large rest area. It wasn't as crowded as it would have been on a weekend, which she was grateful. She was sure that she had shame written all over her face and the few times she had risked a glance at him, she could read regret on his own. She didn't want to see people at the moment. She was dreading looking herself in the eye in the bathroom mirror.

"I'll just grab some shit outta the vending machine so we won't have to stop for food," he said as he took his bag and walked passed her without even seeing her.

"Okay," she said quickly, heading around to the other side of the building where the womens bathrooms were located. She didn't look at him either. It didn't take her long to wash up, brush her teeth and head back out to the van. The few cars that had been there when they pulled up were gone. Now there was an old Oldsmobile parked next to the van. She thought it was a little odd that someone would park so close to them when there was a whole rest area parking lot free.

Daryl must have gotten finished before her because the side door was open when she came around the side of the van. She took a deep breath, readying herself to face him and poked her head into the van to see what he was up to. To her horror his back was to her and he was actually rummaging through her bag.

"What the hell are you doing!" She hissed angrily.

When he turned to glance over his shoulder she gasped and then backed away from the van a few steps. The guy in the van wasn't Daryl. She was about to turn and run for the bathrooms to get him but when she did she ran smack into another man. He grinned and the first thing she noticed before he grabbed her was his bad teeth and then she could smell his rank breath blow into her face as he laughed.

"Well look what I found, Bill. Looks like we scored real big," he laughed.

Her first instinct was to kick him in the balls so she tried to do just that. Unfortunately he had anticipated it because he dodged her easily. She tried to pull out of his grip but he held on to her, hauling her against him as he laughed again.

She heard the other man's feet hit the ground behind her and she was turned around to face him, the other man still gripping her upper arms tightly. To her horror the other man, Bill, from the van was examining her camera bag. Without that camera she had nothing. Her whole future depended on it. She couldn't go back to Georgia. She could never replace the camera. Her mother had saved up for ever to buy her that camera and it was the only thing she had left of her. The only pictures she had of her were stored on that camera.

She jerked and tried to kick the man that still held her but it was no use. Not until suddenly, the man let go as he cried out in pain. She stumbled forward, turning so she could figure out what was happening.

Daryl.

He slammed the guy's head right through the drivers side window of the old car and then rammed his fists over and over into the guy's kidneys. The other man hurried past her, shoving her into the van as he rushed to save his downed friend. This guy was bigger than the one Daryl was still beating on, bigger than Daryl, and a flash of fear for him had her momentarily stunned. And then she remembered something that he had told her yesterday.

She threw open the passenger side door, nearly tearing the glove compartment door off. She breathed out a sigh of relief when she saw the gun. Gripping it in both hands she turned. Bill had Daryl on the ground but Daryl was fast. Very fast. She had always thought that once someone was on their back in a fight then it was pretty much over but Daryl was landing every hit that he threw into the man's face. She flinched when the man's knee slammed into Daryl's groin and his breath rushed out of him.

Bill drew back, ready to land a punishing blow to Daryl's face when suddenly the sound of a gunshot rang out.

She hadn't even realized that her finger was on the trigger and to her horror a small cloud of dust kicked up about a foot away from the two men. Jesus! She could have shot Daryl! She couldn't think about that right now though. She had to keep her cool. "Get up!" She growled. "Now, asshole!"

Bill glared at her but he put his hands in the air and stood up. Daryl pulled himself up but he stayed hunched over, his hand gingerly cupping his injured balls. Carol jumped when Daryl turned and then swung, landing a nasty blow to Bill's chin, causing his head to snap back.

"What the fuck kinda pussy kicks a man in the balls?" He wheezed.

Carol kept her eyes trained on the man and only hoped that no one else pulled up. "Hand over your wallet," she growled. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Daryl's head shoot up and knew he was looking at her like she was crazy.

"What!" Bill barked, his hands still in the air.

"You heard me. Now, hand it to him," she said, motioning towards Daryl with a nod.

The man looked like he was about to kill her but he did as she said. Daryl didn't even look at it before he shoved it into the back pocket of his jeans.

"Daryl, check his asshole friend."

"Carol, maybe we should..."

"Goddamn it, Daryl! They were robbing us! Get the man's wallet or you take the gun and I'll get it myself."

He did as she said, shoving the other wallet in his front pocket and then jerking the man up from the ground and shoving him towards his friend. He looked like he was in bad shape, dazed from the hit he had taken in the back of the head, but when he looked up and realized there was a gun aimed at his chest he raised his hands as well.

"Check the car," she said in a quiet voice. She knew they had hit pay dirt when the men shared a wide eyed look with each other.

"Come on, there ain't shit in the car! You got our wallets, okay. That's all we have."

Carol was certain that they had been on a spree and it was hard to tell what kind of goods they had in the car. Daryl seemed to hesitate but finally he opened the door and sat down in the drivers seat. She heard him make a surprised sound and both men shook their heads and cursed under their breath.

When Daryl got out of the car he was grinning and then went around to the trunk. She heard him whistle low once it was open. "Looks like these two have been at this for a while. You dumb asses know that you're fucked now, right?" He slammed the trunk and walked around so he was behind them. "How bout you put your hands behind your backs for me."

She frowned, wondering what he could have found. Both men were staring at the gun, eyes hard and she knew right then that if they had the chance they would kill her. They would most likely kill her slowly too.

"Stand back to back," Daryl ordered. When they did she saw then that he had found zip ties in the trunk. She didn't want to know why they would have something like that back there. Would they have used a pair of them on her if Daryl hadn't been with her? He used another zip tie to link them together.

"Why do you have those?" She asked, unable to keep her mouth shut.

"They're for bitches like you when they don't wanna play nice," Ugly Teeth snapped.

Daryl turned back towards the man but Carol stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He didn't flinch away from her touch but his eyes were hard when he looked at her. She knew the look wasn't for her though. The guy had really pissed him off. She handed him the gun and took a step towards the two men that were now bound together.

"Bitches like me, huh?" She asked, smiling sweetly even though she felt like throwing up. "Daryl, do me a favor and remind this one here who has the gun."

Daryl pressed the barrel up to the mans head and he grew perfectly still as Carol reached down and unbuttoned his pants. The man's eyes widened. "What the fuck are you doing?" He growled.

"I'm not playing nice," she said as she yanked his pants down. She turned her head so she wouldn't be looking at the man's package.

Daryl barked out a laugh and then she went to the other man and did the same. So there they were, standing there, bare ass to bare ass between the van and their car, which was probably stolen. She turned to Daryl then.

"You hold them, I'm gonna make a call to the cops and then we can get the hell out of here."

Daryl met her eyes then, his were wide and clear, the smile on his face unlike any she had seen before. She took off, running barefoot across the parking lot towards the payphones.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Once they were back on the Interstate Daryl's pulse was finally starting to slow back down to a regular rhythm. His hands were still shaking and his balls still hurt like a mother fucker, but other than that they had both made it out of the ordeal unscathed.

When he had woken up this morning he had dreaded the day. The long silent ride was going to be awful and he knew it. And it had been up until the rest stop incident. She had barely even looked at him and he didn't blame her. He didn't feel guilty about what they had done because he hadn't initiated any of it at all, but he did feel like he should have done something more to keep it from happening. That was easier said than done though. The truth was, he had been completely fascinated with the girl since before he even picked her up. As soon as he had met her eyes as he drove past her on the highway back in Atlanta, there was something that wordlessly pulled him towards her.

But he regretted last night. Regretted it because now there would be no easy conversation and comfortable silence. And he couldn't keep his mind from focusing on how she had felt the night before. It made for awkward silence and heavy tension.

But that was before they had gone totally Bonnie and Clyde on those assholes. He had underestimated her. The girl had grit, that was for sure. Neither one of them had said much when they had gotten back into the van and tore out of there before the cops showed up. This silence wasn't awkward though. This silence was that kind of electric quiet that was ripe with excitement. When she finally spoke the sound of her voice actually startled him out of his thoughts.

"You know, I realize now how stupid I was for just taking off like that. You know how easy it would have been for a couple of guys like them to just shove me in that car and do God only knows what?"

He glanced at her and nodded, her words causing him to feel sick. "That's why I stopped." His eyes turned back to the road. "And just kept goin'," he muttered.

"You wouldn't be driving this far if you hadn't stopped for me, would you?" She asked in a quiet voice.

He shrugged. "All I knew was I had to go. I didn't know where I was goin'."

"I'm just going to pretend like meeting me at least gave you some kind of purpose. If not then I'm going to worry that I'm nothing but baggage."

He frowned. "You didn't twist my arm. I'm doin' this because I want to."

She smiled, the first real one he had seen all day. She glanced up. "You're doing this because under that tough exterior, you're one of those people that make the world a better place just by breathing. You're doing this because you can't stand the thought of other people out there getting hurt. You'll do what you need to do to keep bad things from happening."

He turned those words around in his head, examining them. He didn't know if they were true or not. This was the first time in his life he had ever been in a position to actually help someone else. He had to admit, though, that someone thinking that he was one of the good guys made him feel good about himself. He wanted to be that type of person but he had always kind of figured that he had inherited the bad guy gene. His brother had. Why not him? But maybe that wasn't true. He swallowed hard and nodded towards the back. "Grab my bag and go through those wallets. Those two guys have been at this for a while."

"You have their wallets in your pocket."

He shook his head. "There were six or seven more in the glove box of their car."

Her head turned quickly and he could feel her eyes taking him in. "Are you serious? Shouldn't we have left them there for the police?"

He shrugged. "Probably but we need the money. It ain't like we robbed the people and there wasn't any ID in any of them so there was no way of telling who they belonged to."

She steadied herself between the seats and then bent over, reaching for his bag that he had thrown back there before they left. He glanced over and then did a double take. Her ass was right next to his face and he had the sudden urge to slap it. He tightened his grip on the wheel. Shaking the thought from is mind. He was not Merle and that was a Merle thought. Good guys didn't go around thinking about shit like that.

She sat back down, opening the bag and started going through all the wallets. He took the two from the two men and tossed them over to her. He wasn't paying attention to her until he heard her mutter something.

He glanced over and nearly ran off the road. She was holding a hand full of money. Hell, even if all those bills were just ones, they would still be up at least a hundred bucks. "How the fuck much is there?" He asked, his voice disbelieving.

"Fifty eight hundred," she said, sounding like she was in a daze. "Fifty eight hundred freaking dollars!"

He was sure that he hadn't heard her right. "Are you serious?"

She grinned, her eyes lighting up the way they had yesterday when she had seen that river in the woods. "We don't have to camp out tonight! We can get a room and take a real shower! We can sleep in a bed!"

He nodded. That actually didn't sound half bad. His bed back home had been a couple of mattresses thrown in the corner. The bed in the back of the van was an old lumpy mess. The thought of a comfortable bed sounded great. He didn't mind sleeping outside, or in the van, or even in his bed back home but he never really felt rested. Probably because he always had to sleep with one eye open because of his dad.

"And you can buy me dinner. Not just a hot dog either. I want something good."

He felt his lips turn up in a smile. "What the hell you mean, I can buy you dinner? That money's yours."

He felt her eyes on him but she didn't say anything.

"I wouldn't have thought to check the car. That was your idea. Your idea, your money," he explained.

" _Our_ money. That was a team effort. As long as we're on the road together, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine. Deal?"

He chuckled. It felt good for things to be going back to a comfortable place between then. "Okay, so that means you get a van out of the deal and I get a camera."

"That camera is worth more than this van, trust me. Not that I don't have a soft spot for this rust bucket." She slipped to the back of the van again and came back with her camera in hand. "I have some pretty great pictures on here. When we stop I'll show you."

"I hate pictures," he grumbled.

"That doesn't make any sense. People like you shouldn't hate pictures."

He scowled. "What the fuck is that suppose to mean?"

She shrugged. "You're very photogenic. You're bone structure, your brow, your cheek bones, jaw line, your eyes... your mouth. You're actually a photographers dream. You're completely flawless no matter what look you're wearing at any given time."

He thought she was being a dick. He thought that she was mocking him. He had grown up with the Dixon curse and people didn't look at him like that and he knew it. He was raised to believe that he was bad. He was trash. He was expected to amount to the same shit that he came from. He didn't feel like those things were true most of the time. He didn't see himself like that but he was sure that the rest of the world did. He felt anger spike his blood and humiliation blaze hot across his face. But when he looked over she was looking at him in a way that had the anger fizzling out quickly. Even though he didn't believe her words were any more true than anyone elses, it was clear in her own blush that she very much did see him the way she described. He had no idea what to do with that.

"How are your balls?" She asked suddenly.

He looked over, knowing his eyes were wide at the unexpected question. He found himself staring into the wide lens. The rabid clicks let him know that he was her subject for the moment. His shocked expression turned into one of annoyance. "Cut that shit out," he grumbled, turning away. He extended his middle finger. Let her take some pictures of that.

"Like I said, a photographers dream. I bet I could sell these to some sort of men's magazine."

He snorted and shook his head, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"And that was a legit question, by the way," she said as she examined the photos on the camera with a smile.

"My balls hurt," he muttered, shifting again but not letting her goad him into silence.

She giggled. It wasn't a laugh or a chuckle. It was a girly ass giggle, elicited because of his pained balls.

"Laugh it up, Carol," he grumbled.

"I'm sorry. I really am, but your face when that guy kicked you. I wish I had been pointing the camera and not the gun."

He looked over sharply, scowling at her. Had he really been wishing earlier that they were talking? "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

She nodded, her eyes dancing in the dim light of the overcast day. "I do. Where are you going to take me?"

"The nearest McDonald's and dropping your ass off," he muttered.

"You wouldn't. You like me, even if you don't want to admit it."

He sighed heavily, "Nah. I'll admit it. But only because you look good holding a gun."

He glanced at her and then he almost laughed at the surprised look on her face.


	10. Chapter 10

**We're down to nine chapters to go! Thanks for reading! And Itsi! So glad to see you're enjoying this!**

 **Chapter Ten**

It took her a while but she finally talked him into letting her drive for a change. Once they hit Little Rock she had pestered him so much he finally got irritated enough to actually pull over onto the side of the road and switch her seats. By the time they finally drove into Oklahoma City he had been asleep for a few hours. He hadn't even woken up when she had stopped again for gas. Driving was hard because she couldn't stop glancing over at him. Her remorse over what they had done the night before had faded long ago. She still hoped that he didn't think she was the type of girl that did that with just anyone. She wanted to talk to him about it but that wasn't something that she knew how to do. What was she suppose to say?

She didn't linger in the city, knowing somehow that he would rather be on the outskirts than in any metropolitan area. She found a suitable motel on the side of a lonely highway about thirty minutes west of the city. It wasn't anything fancy but it didn't look like one of those motels that you could pay by the hour or anything.

It was after eight o'clock and she meant what she had said. She wanted to go somewhere with him. Somewhere she could sit down and eat a real meal and maybe, just maybe, try to get to know him a little better. She turned off the van and took a moment to stare at him like a freak. She held her camera at the ready and then poked him in the side hard enough to wake him up.

He jerked awake, blinking up at her with the most confused look on his face. She snapped a pictured and he growled at her like an animal and to her surprise he snatched her camera away, glanced at it briefly and then took a picture of her.

She made a grab for it but he sat up, leaning his back against the door and just kept snapping. "Daryl, give it?" She gave him a severe look and held out her hand.

"How do you like it?" He asked, finally handing it back.

"Okay, so it isn't as fun on this end. But only because I look like crap," she added hastily when he shot her a smug look.

"You don't look like crap," he muttered as he finally took in the scenery. "Holy shit. Where the hell are we?"

"Right outside of Oklahoma City. I didn't think you'd want to stay there so I drove on out here to find a better place."

He nodded and opened his door, jumping down and stretching with a loud yawn. She joined him by the passenger side door. "Pretty empty," he muttered around another yawn. "You want separate rooms? We got the money now."

She blinked, not knowing why the question felt like he'd just slapped her across the face. She swallowed and forced a smile but he wasn't looking at her. He was still looking around at their stark surroundings. "Sure."

"It's different than Georgia," he observed.

"You ready to get some rooms?" She asked quickly, finally getting his attention.

He studied her eyes for a few long moments and then nodded, shouldering his own bag and following her to the office. When they walked in there was a girl behind the counter that looked to be around their age. She gave Carol a once over before her eyes settled on Daryl. Carol felt a surprising jolt of jealousy causing her to frown because she had no reason to be jealous.

"What can I do for you?" She asked Daryl, leaning her arms on the table and flashing an ample amount of cleavage. Carol crossed her arms over her own chest, feeling a little inadequate in the presence of boobs as big as this girl's.

"Two singles," he said, pulling money out of his wallet without even looking at the over eager girl.

"Singles?" The girl raised one dark eyebrow and glanced between the two of them again. "Okay then."

Carol felt her teeth grinding together at the smile on the girl's face.

"I need to see some ID and then I'll ring you up," she smiled and leaned further, her arms moving closer together. When the girl turned her smile on her Carol rolled her eyes and gave her the dirtiest look she could muster.

He elbowed Carol in the side lightly. "She said you gotta show her yours, too," he said quickly. "Where's your head at?"

She frowned at him. "Why? You already have your wallet out."

He shrugged. "Separate rooms so they gotta be in separate names."

She rolled her eyes again. "This is so stupid," She grumbled under her breath.

The girl blew a bubble with her gum and then shrugged. "Just following the rules. It's policy."

Carol pulled out her license and smiled sarcastically before slamming the card down on the counter next to Daryl's.

He frowned, looking confused and she knew the feeling. She had no idea what had gotten into her but she didn't like this girl at all.

The girl sauntered off for a moment and Carol made every effort to not meet his eyes. She was kind of sad that he wanted separate rooms but she wasn't about to say anything about it. The girl came back and took the money from Daryl, handing him both keys. She smiled at him again but his eyes were on Carol's so she missed it. "You're in room, six, mister. It's right near the office doors." Her eyes landed on Carol. "You're in room twenty nine, up the stairs and at the far end of the hallway."

Carol put her hands on her hips and glared at the girl. "Why is his room all the way down here and mine is at the end on the second floor?"

The girl shrugged. "Those were just the numbers I typed in and the keys I handed out. Is that going to a problem? I didn't think it would matter since you two aren't sharing a room anyway."

Carol opened her mouth to say something but suddenly Daryl was slamming the key back down on the counter. "Actually, how about a refund for room six. I changed my mind."

The girl stood up straighter. "Oh. I could give you a room closer together if you want, I just-"

Daryl shook his head, clearly agitated. "Nah. Just give me the money back for room six."

The girl glanced between them. "Well, let me just change it to a double and get you another-"

"No," he said, his voice flat.

Carol was trying to repress a smile but when the girl's eyes landed on her again she grinned. She knew it was immature but it didn't matter. This girl was horrible.

"Okay then," she said, handing him the money back and hanging the key up with all the others. "So, anyway, you aren't from around here and I get off in about an hour. Need someone to show you around?" She asked, flashing that smile and leaning against the counter again.

Daryl actually looked at her this time but then his eyes quickly slid over to Carol. "What do you think? We need a chaperon?"

Carol looked right at the girl and shook her head. "Definitely not."

Daryl shrugged. "Good, lets go."

Carol gave the girl one more smug look before she followed Daryl out the door. The girl looked completely shocked. It was obvious that she didn't get turned down. Ever. So Daryl's complete lack of interest in her was probably a really hard shot to her over inflated ego. Carol was surprised by his lack of interest too but she didn't say anything.

"What a bitch," he grumbled as he headed up the metal steps.

"Actually she wasn't being a bitch," she observed. Well, she had been a bitch to her but she had been all smiles and boobs for Daryl.

He snorted. "Trust me, I've been around plenty of chicks like that because of my brother. She's a goddamn bitch that thinks she's better than everybody else when she ain't nothin' but a two bit slut. And did you see the way she kept lookin' at you?"

Carol was still trying to fight the sting from the two bit slut jab. Hell, she had been way worse than that girl last night in the van. It worried her all over again. "I did see that but I didn't know you did."

"I see more than people think I do," he grumbled as he pushed the door open and turned on the light.

She followed him inside and shut the door. "You could have gotten that other room, Daryl. I didn't really mind."

He studied her like he had down by the van. "You really want a room of your own?" He asked.

She didn't see any point in lying. "I don't know. After the run in with those creeps today I kind of just feel safer if I was closer to you. And why do you look like that surprises you?"

He shrugged and tossed his bag onto the one bed in the room. "I don't know."

She sat down and pulled her own bag closer. "Well, thanks for sticking it to that girl anyway." She rummaged through her bag. She grinned when she found her favorite pair of faded jeans with a hole in the knee. "Are we going somewhere fancy?"

He snorted. "No."

She grinned. "You sure? Cause if you want to go somewhere fancy I can wear something fancy but if we're going somewhere more casual then I'm wearing my old jeans."

"I'm sure."

"Did you really not even notice that girl's boobs spilling out all over the counter?" She asked as she looked for a shirt. She pulled out a crochet top that tied around the neck and back. She was about to dismiss it because of the low v cut and it showed too much of her stomach and it was too tight. He'd already made the slut remark and she wasn't about to try to enforce that image of her in his head. But then she glanced over and saw him staring at it as she held it up. He swallowed hard. She sat it aside with her jeans and then stood up.

"You want the shower first?" He asked, clearing his throat.

She nodded. "If you're willing to let me have it."

He gestured towards the door. "It's all yours. Just save me some cold...er... hot water."

She smiled and stepped past him, feeling his eyes on her until she shut the door. The stupid grin on her face almost made her laugh when she looked up at her reflection.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

He waited for her to get out of the shower, running his hand through his hair nervously as he paced. The bitch down in the office had really pissed him off and it was stupid to be so pissed off over it. It was the way she looked at Carol, like Carol couldn't hold a candle to her. And that was bullshit. He saw that she was starting to shift on her feet like even _she_ thought that the girl was better than her. Or hotter than her. So he'd reacted and now he was stuck sharing a fucking room with her and the room only had one bed.

He didn't want a repeat of what this morning had been like. They were finally okay again and to fuck that up on a whim would be stupid. Besides, he didn't know how much time they had left together. It wasn't going to take too long to get to California and he wasn't willing to deal with all that awkward bullshit just for a little fun. Or a lot of fun. Last night had probably been the best fucking night of his life. What a depressing thought. Made much more depressing by the realization that soon, this would all be over. She would stay in California to start her life and he would... he had no idea what he would do. He had had no destination, no purpose, until he had picked her up.

He sat down heavily on the side of the bed. How could a girl get herself stuck so far in a guys brain after such a short amount of time?

He looked up when the bathroom door finally opened and she came breezing into the room. She offered him a smile as she grabbed her bag off of the bed and sat it on the dresser that sat against the far wall. He had secretly wished that she would wear that shirt when she had held it up but now he was about to take his own off and throw it over her head just to cover her back up. He didn't need the distraction. And she was damn distracting. The thing showed off her entire back other than where it tied in the middle and then at the back of her neck. And her stupid low rise jeans hugged her ass and her thighs and then flared out below the knee.

"You look like an extra in that Boogie Nights movie," he blurted.

She turned around, her eyes wide. "You think I look like a roller skating porn star?"

Uh oh... "No," he said quickly, standing up. "I just mean that if you wanted to look like a... Well, fuck. I didn't mean it like that."

Her hands went to her hips. "Do you think less of me because of what happened between us last night?"

Oh God. He didn't want to talk about it. It was one thing to do it but then to look her in the eye and discuss it, nope. He wasn't doing any of that.

"Well?" She looked like she was seconds away from tapping her foot.

"No, I don't," he answered, studying his boots.

"I don't just go around doing things like that. Okay, maybe it kind of seemed like I did because of how I acted before that with the taking my clothes off and stuff but it wasn't because I'm a slut or anything. I've never... I hadn't ever done that before. I don't want you thinking that I just go around giving free bl-"

"Okay, okay," he looked up. "I know you don't. If I thought you were like that I woulda treated you the same as the girl downstairs, alright. I don't wanna talk about it though."

"Was it bad?" She asked, looking worried.

His face felt hot enough to set his hair on fire. Was she fucking serious? "No it wasn't bad. It was..." he gestured towards her. "Well, you were there!"

She studied him with a frown. "Are you sure?"

He threw his arms in the air. "Jesus Christ, Carol, really? Yeah, I'm pretty sure and you know I'm pretty sure because you were the one with my dick down your throat and this discussion is over and we ain't gonna talk about it ever again." He didn't wait for her to respond. He grabbed his clothes and stalked off to the shower. When he shut the door he leaned against it.

"An extra on Boogie Nights?" He muttered to himself once he turned on the water. "What the hell is wrong with you, dumb ass?"

"Did you say something?" She called.

"No," he called back, stripping his clothes off. He washed in a hurry since he was actually starving. All they had had to eat all day was a few granola bars and a couple of bags of chips. He ran out of hot water halfway through but he didn't care. He needed it. By the end of the night he would probably need at least three more.

He was shivering when he finally came out of the bathroom, rubbing his arms and shaking water from his hair. She was actually stretched out on her back, her arms raised over her head and her feet crossed at the ankles. Her eyes were closed and her lips were parted slightly. He wanted to kiss her. He knew how soft those lips were. He knew how sweet she tasted. But that would lead to all sorts of places he knew that neither of them needed to go. Not again. Instead he sat down on the edge of the bed and put his boots on. He waited a few more minutes, letting her get as much of a nap in as she could.

He poked her in the ribs instead of kissing her awake like he wanted and her eyes snapped open, blinking rapidly. She sat up and smiled. "I fell asleep."

His lips twitched. "Yeah. I saw that. You sure you wanna go somewhere?"

She sat up and grabbed his hand, forcing him to pull her up from the bed. She seemed to have forgiven him for pretty much calling her a porn star. He double checked his pocket, making sure he had the money and then they headed out. She offered to drive but he wasn't having it. She had driven for four hours already.

"Where the hell you wanna go?" He asked as they made their way closer and closer to the city.

"I want steak."

He raised an eyebrow at her, the corner of his mouth turning up. "Steak, huh? I thought chicks liked to order salads or some dumb shit like that when they went out."

She shook her head. "Being a roller skating porn star is really hard work. I need nourishment."

He scowled. "You know that ain't what I meant."

"I do know that. But I'm really starting to love watching you squirm and get all red faced. It's... really cute."

He snorted. They drove in blessed silence until he found a steak house that wasn't completely packed. It was still too crowded for his taste but the place seemed to be clean and they didn't have to wait to get seated. He started feeling his anxiety kick up a few notches. He didn't like crowds but he was almost too damn hungry to give a damn. He noticed that she was looking around a lot, like she was searching for something but he didn't comment on it right away. He mostly chewed his thumb nail and tapped his fingers on the table top.

"We're on a date," she said with a grin.

He rolled his eyes. "We ain't on a date."

"It's kind of like a date," she argued, stuffing a piece of roll into her mouth like she hadn't eaten in days.

"No it ain't."

She nodded and took a drink, her eyes taking on that mischievous glint. "You're buying me dinner. You defended my honor back there at the motel. You tried to compliment my appearance. And now we're about to sit in a dimly lit place and eat dinner together. This is a date."

"I don't date."

"We're technically dating."

"Shut up."

She grinned and was about to say something else when their food finally arrived. "Thank God," she muttered. "I'm starving."

"You ate three rolls," he noted.

She raised a brow. "Oh, so not only do I dress like a porn star but now I eat too much? What charm school did you attend, Daryl? Because you should really ask for a refund."

He sighed and shook his head, digging into his food so he wouldn't have to engage in anymore conversation with her that was just going to make him blush like some goddamn school girl.

"What are you going to do once we make it to California?" She asked after a while.

He glanced up at her, noticing for the first time that the guy at the table next to them kept checking her out, and scowled. "I don't know what the hell I'm doin'. I guess I'll just take it one day at a time."

"You ever thought about staying? I swear if you gave it a shot you could probably go really far with modeling."

He shook his head. "That place ain't for me. And shut up about that crap."

She sighed and picked at her food. "It's strange," she muttered.

He waited for her to elaborate but she didn't offer anything up on her own. "What is?"

She shrugged, her pale shoulder rising slightly. "I left Georgia because I had nobody and I was going nowhere. It was lonely and sometimes it was even scary. So I left and before I even get to where I'm going, I run into you. It's been really fun and I haven't felt alone at all. I've felt... alive. But sooner than later, I'm going to be just as alone, just as scared except now I'll be in a new place. A place I know nothing about."

He didn't know what to say to her to make her feel any better. He wasn't going to stay in California. He may not have known where he was going to end up but he was sure it wasn't going to be that place. He wished that it could be but he couldn't and he knew it. As much as it pained him to admit to himself, leaving her was going to be the hardest fucking thing he ever did in his life. He didn't know why but he cared about her. He cared about her a lot. He hated how fucking sad she looked too. Loathed it. "Maybe you should just go back to Georgia," he offered, not getting his hopes up.

She shook her head. "I can't. I owe it to my mom to try to make something of my life. The only thing I want to do is take pictures. I'm good at it. I'm really good at it. It'd be stupid to go back. I've gotten this far." She looked up from her last few bites of food and tilted her head. "You never told me why you left."

"I guess cause my life was shit."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"How?"

He shrugged. "My brother left and my dad, he's a drunk piece of shit. There ain't nothing there for me. I guess I just felt like I needed to get the fuck out."

"That's what happened to your lip? Your dad?" She asked softly.

He met her eyes and could tell that she already knew the answer to that. He searched her gaze but there wasn't any pity there. She didn't look like she was judging him. He nodded mutely.

"Well, I'm glad you kicked his ass then," she muttered, going back to her meal.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for the delay! Smut warning for this one...**

 **Chapter Twelve**

When they pulled back up at the motel there were a few more cars than there had been earlier but not many. Daryl's palms were sweating and he had to rub them against his legs before he opened the van door. She was already out, making her way towards the stairs. She wasn't in as good a mood as she had been in when they had left out. Talking about the future had dampened that for her and he understood why. He was feeling a little depressed himself.

They didn't say a word as he unlocked the door, opening it so she could go in first. The sober mood prevailed as she sat down at the foot of the bed and clicked on the TV. She glanced up. "Are you tired?"

He shook his head and toed off his boots before he flounced onto his back. "Holy shit," he groaned, stretching. "This is pretty nice."

She glanced over her shoulder, a small smile in place. "I thought the same thing when I laid on it earlier."

"You okay?" he asked suddenly, poking her in the back with his sock clad foot.

She nodded but she didn't look okay at all. She turned her head quickly, staring at the television again even though it was only an infomercial so he knew she wasn't overly interested in it. She didn't look like she wanted to talk about it and he didn't know the first thing about talking to a girl about emotional shit so he just laid there for a second, letting his eyes roam over her back. That wasn't a very good idea so he averted his eyes and stood up.

"Do you want to go to sleep?" She asked, not looking his way.

He turned off the light. "Not really. You?"

She shook her head and leaned back on her elbows. "No. I don't want to sleep the whole night away. Not when I'm not sure how many more we're going to get. You've grown on me. I'm really going to miss you a lot and I hate even thinking about it."

He shrugged. "Then don't think about it."

She turned her eyes on him then and his heart sank because they looked wet and a little puffy. "I can't not think about it."

"You know, it ain't like you got an appointment to keep. We ain't gotta put in eight hours of driving a day."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, hell. If you wanted we could even hole up here a few days. We can afford it and it'd give us a chance to sleep in a real bed a few days before we hit the road." He was making this all up as he went but he was actually starting to get his hopes up. He understood what she was feeling because he was feeling the same thing.

She stood up and wiped wetness from under her eyes. "You'd do that?"

He nodded. "If you wanted me too."

Her face fell. "I don't want you to do it because you know that's what I want. I want you to want to do it because you know you'll miss me just as much once this is all over."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Fine. I don't wanna drop you off in California any time soon alright?"

She took a few cautious steps towards him. "You can't just say it because you know that I want you to say it."

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "What am I suppose to say?"

"Do you really want to spend more time with me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. You're the only other person I ever met that I can actually stand."

She eyed him and then she frowned. "Do you only want to spend more time with me because you think that I'm going to... do what I did last night?"

He huffed. "When are you gonna stop talking about that? No, it don't have anything to do with that."

She nodded. "Okay. Then I think we should stay here a few days and then when we leave here we can just pick a spot on the map and go."

"Sounds like a plan then," he muttered, flopping back down in the same spot that he had occupied earlier.

"I want a picture," she said suddenly.

"You've got enough damn pictures," he muttered, closing his eyes so she would think he was going to sleep and wouldn't argue with him about it.

"I want one of the two of us."

He cracked one eye open. "You want me to go get that girl to come up here and snap a few?"

She scowled. "That was mean."

He closed his eye and ignored her. He heard her moving around but he didn't see any flashes and the room was dark other than the light from the infomercial so he wasn't worried she was snapping any while he wasn't looking.

He felt the bed dip as she sat down but his eyes remained closed. That was, until he felt the bed dip on the other side of him as well. His eyes snapped open and then widened when he realized she was straddling his waist. She didn't have a camera in her hands so he didn't know what the hell she was up to. "Carol, what the hell are you doin'?"

She smiled. "Wait for it."

"Wait for wha-" The snap of the flash had him looking over towards the dresser, which was where the flash had come from. He almost expected someone to be there, snapping away, but the camera was sitting on the dresser, a red light flashing on it.

"Timer. See, I can get pictures without inviting that bimbo up here."

"Why the hell did you have to crawl on top of me to do that?" He asked, raising up on his elbows. The camera flashed again and he glared at her. "That's enough with the damn pictures."

She shook her head and he made a move to push her off of him, grabbing her hips roughly and sitting the rest of the way up. It was so much like the position they had started out in last night that he paused. Another flash. "Because I figured I would have to hold you down," she grinned outright.

He wasn't thinking about the camera anymore. He was thinking about the night before. The taste of her skin and the feel of her body pressed against his. She met his eyes and the smile faded from her lips. Another flash.

He dropped back down onto his back but he didn't move his hands from her hips. The tension was thick and his palms felt sweaty again and he could see it in her face that she realized that this may not have been the best idea.

"I don't think I thought this through very well," she said, not making a move to get off of him.

"No, you didn't," he said in a husky voice that he barely recognized. The camera flashed again.

"Do you want me to move?" She asked, searching his face.

He swallowed hard, his eyes roaming over her before settling back on hers and then he slowly shook his head. Why the fuck lie? What would be the point of acting like he didn't want her? He gripped the back of her neck and pulled her face towards his. Flash.

He initiated it this time because he pretty much knew what he was doing. He kissed her like it was the most normal thing in the world. Like he'd spent most of his life doing just that and she responded instantly. Eagerly. She melted against him and he deepened the kiss, a growl rumbling low in his chest. Behind his closed eyelids another flash barely registered in his mind as her tongue danced wickedly with his own. Her jeans, regardless of how good she looked in them, were pissing him off. There was too much separating them.

He felt out of control and for once in his life he didn't care. His whole life he had always felt slightly out of place. He had always felt like something about his life just wasn't right, something about him wasn't right. But there was a _rightness_ about this that had him reeling. It had him forgetting the person he was and focusing solely on who he could be. Who he needed to be. Who she thought he was. He ran his hands up her back, to the simple knot she had tied there and quickly untied it. His heart was pounding hard and his hands shook slightly but this time it wasn't from fear. It was from anticipation. From the liberating feeling that he was worthy of good things. He sat up and instantly her hands ran up his shirt, leaving a trail of flames in their wake. He let her push it up. He even helped her tug it over his head before his hands went back to her skin, his lips working their way down her throat.

Her nails bit into his shoulders when he went to work on the knot at the back of her neck and when it was finally free he let her shirt fall away, taking a moment to catch his breath and take her in. He was sure that no artist in the world could create a body as perfect as hers but when his eyes finally slid up to meet hers she almost looked embarrassed. He couldn't comprehend why, since he thought he was making it pretty damn obvious that he more than liked what he was seeing. He ran his hands along her rib cage and let his thumbs barely graze across the bottom swell of her breasts. She took in a sharp breath, her eyes darkening. His mouth was watering and finally he gave in and traced one hardened nipple with the tip of his tongue before he caught it gently between his teeth.

Her breath exploded from her lungs and her fingers threaded through his hair, anchoring him to her. She whispered his name and it felt like a caress up his spine. He rolled, pinning her beneath him. It was strange. It was like the room had become a bubble where the heat, the pain, the uncertainty was locked outside, pressing against the window, the door, the walls but unable to touch them. There was nothing in existence but the two of them and this moment that felt like it was stretching on for eternity. No anxiety, no insecurity, just him and her in some kind of strange infinite space where sensation reigned, the world outside of them had imploded and primal need seemed to override everything else.

He raised up on his knees and he could see her face, even in the inconsistent light from the muted television. She was staring, wide eyed, chest heaving with every breath and a look on her face that told him that she trusted him completely. He quickly unbottoned her pants, hooking his fingers and slid them down her thighs until she was completely naked, legs splayed out before him like some erotic feast.

And he was a starving man with every intention to satiate that hunger.

Another flash from the camera didn't even give him pause.

He lifted one of her legs, draped it over his shoulder and then ran his nose along her inner thigh, breathing deeply, biting the soft flesh before descending further. He didn't hesitate once he finally made it to the juncture of her thighs.

Flash

He tasted her fully, one long languid swipe of the flat of his tongue. Her back arched, her hips pushing up into him further. Savoring the distinct flavor of need he plunged his tongue into her, needing more like it was the very essence of life and without it he would cease to exist. She cried out his name and gripped the back of his head, fisting his hair in her hands as he ran his tongue over her again, finding that perfect spot and sucking deeply.

Flash

He pushed his finger into her, using those same motions he had used the night before, only this time he quickened the motions.

Her breaths became shallow and broken sounds emanated from her mouth. A gasp, a sob a few Oh my God's later and her whole body tensed. She sat up, leaning back on her arms. His eyes snapped up and he watched her face while she fell apart. Her eyes were closed but then it was like she could feel him watching her because they snapped open, locking onto his. She tried to compose herself under his scrutiny but it was no use. Her head tipped back and she rocked her hips into him. He could actually watch the muscles in her stomach flex and flutter with every wave of pleasure that ripped through her. Her thighs trembled uncontrollably and he was lost in his own mind, just watching her like he was on some kind a high, like an orgasm in itself.

And still the camera flashed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Good morning! This chapter jumps right into it so... another smut warning! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

She wasted no time once he sat up on his knees again. She ran her hand over the erection pressing painfully against the confines of his jeans and then nearly ripped the button off in her hurry to free him. Her arm went around his neck and she pulled him down with her. He braced himself with one arm while working his pants down and then she was helping, pushing with her feet until he was able to kick them away. He settled between her legs, more than ready to do this but then a horrifying thought occurred to him. "Fuck," he growled, his head dropping to her chest.

"What?" She gasped.

"We ain't got anything." He was a fucking idiot. Merle had a goddamn drawer full of condoms at home but he never in a million years thought he would be getting laid on this trip.

"I'm on the pill. I've been on the pill for years," she whispered quickly, moving her hips and sliding that wet heat along the underside of his painfully hard dick.

He didn't dwell on what that implied. If she was on the pill then that meant that she was a lot more sexually active than he was. Hopefully he caught on as quick to this as he had everything else up until this point. "You sure you want to do this?" He asked, silently praying that she didn't say no.

"Yes," she panted as her hands ran up his chest.

That was permission enough in his book. He shifted slightly and then pushed into her quickly. He felt something inside of her give, heard her cry out, this time in pain rather than pleasure and he became perfectly still as her entire body locked up around him. "What the fuck was that?" He choked.

She let out a breath and he could feel her trying to force herself to relax. "That was you, not so gently taking my virginity," she muttered.

He almost pulled away. Hell, he almost launched himself off the bed. How in the hell could she be a virgin? Why hadn't she told him that? And why was this new revelation such good fucking news to him? "You want me to stop?"

She shook her head and pulled his face down to hers, kissing him gently as she curled one leg over his waist. "Just not so rough, okay," she whispered.

"You should have told me," he said, testing her by moving his hips just a fraction of an inch. He wasn't even all the way inside of her yet and wondered if he should be.

"I'm okay," she said, her hips moving into his. "That just surprised me."

That was bullshit. He had actually hurt her and he could see it in her face that he still was. He didn't want to stop. Whether she was in pain or not, she felt fucking incredible. This was better than last night. The heat, the way she wrapped around him, tensing as she tried to get used to the feel of him inside her. He eased himself deeper, paying careful attention to her face. Her large eyes watched him, trusting and clear and he hated that he had hurt her. Another thing he hated was the shock of realizing she hadn't ever done this before had shattered that haze that had clouded his thoughts earlier. He was in a motel room, naked, on top of a girl that he barely knew but was currently deflowering anyway. And now he was hyper aware of the fact that it was all being caught on film. His first time, their first time, was being documented.

"Are you going to move?" She asked breathlessly.

He wanted back in that bubble where he didn't care about anything. He wanted that feeling of security back. He didn't want to feel exposed like he did now. He didn't answer her question, instead moving within her cautiously. She pulled his head down so she could kiss him again. There was an urgency in this kiss that he understood without her having to say anything else. He started moving, focusing less and less on his worry and more on how it all felt. And not just the physical sensation of filling her so completely. It was more than just that. That sense of rightness was still there, heavy in his chest. The feeling of being exactly where he needed to be. That feeling that no matter what, the person he was with saw him in a brighter light than the rest of the world ever had.

He was still being cautious, not wanting to do anything wrong and after a few more minutes she surprised him by moaning into his mouth. He paused pulling his face away from hers and meeting her eyes. She bit her lip, he pushed into her deeper and her eyes lost focus and her lips parted on a small gasp.

He realized that he was grinning like an idiot. He could tell that it wasn't hurting her anymore. He rolled his hips into her again and her eyes glazed over even more. Finally he let go of all of that hesitation and started really moving. It didn't matter that he had never done this before. They didn't have to search for the right rhythm. It was like they both just knew, on some deep level, exactly how to move, the exact pace, that would bring the most pleasure to the other. Soon he was wrapped up in that cocoon once more, no inhibitions or concern.

Until her hands slid around to his back. He cursed into her neck and was about to grab her hands but her fingertips ghosted over his scars like they weren't even there. They were large, ugly, raised but she didn't pause to study them. She didn't look at him with questions in her eyes. Instead her nails dug into the muscles and her body tensed. He felt the change deep inside of her, wet heat coiling around him causing him to curse again this time because he felt his control slipping right along with hers.

Unlike the other times he had gotten her off this time it peaked slowly, like a slow rolling of thunder before the deluge. Her legs locked around his waist and she whimpered out his name, her walls tightening in a vice like grip and he knew he couldn't hold on through it all. With a growl he was hit by an intense wave of pleasure of his own, intensified by her bodies response to his. A stream of curses and nonsensical words tore out of his throat as she writhed fluidly beneath him. He spilled into her while she squeezed and shuddered around him.

He didn't know exactly how long it took him to catch his breath and finally raise his head. She was running her fingers through his hair and it was starting to lull him to sleep. He pulled away but only enough so he was no longer inside her. Her heart, which had been thundering against his ear, was starting to slow to a normal rhythm.

"Every picture on that camera needs to be deleted," he muttered, turning his head so he could press his lips to her wrist.

She hummed in the back of her throat.

"And I ain't the one that's gonna walk my naked ass over there to turn it off either."

"I really just wanted to get a few pictures of us together," she said in a hoarse voice.

He snorted and raised his head, looking down at her. "You did what you set out to do."

She smiled, her whole face lighting up. "I didn't plan on that happening. It really was very innocent."

He rolled his eyes and then pushed himself up on his arms. "Yeah, I'm sure it was." He pulled the blanket down on the other side of the bed and then right after another flash he rolled off of her and covered himself up, flopping back on the pillow with his arms folded under his head. "Least I don't think there's a picture of my junk on there. I was blocked pretty good."

She sighed. "That's a shame." She raised up on her elbows and flashed him another smile. "You just want to watch me walk over there to turn it off."

He shrugged.

Her eyes scanned the bed and then she snatched something up and slipped it over her head. It was his discarded shirt. Once she was finally covered up she got up and plucked the camera off the table. He would have been disappointed but seeing her wearing his shirt was just as much of a turn on as her being naked would have been. Then he just had to admit to himself that it didn't matter what she had on, she would turn him on anyway. He scoffed at himself for the thought but he didn't take his eyes off of her anyway.

"There, crybaby. No more pictures."

"Did you delete them?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Not yet."

He raised up onto his elbows. "Delete the damn things, Carol. If somebody got a hold of your camera then they could end up anywhere."

"Daryl, I don't think you understand how impressive that was. You should be proud." She winked and sat down, her back against the headboard.

He shook his head and watched her as she flipped through the pictures, her eyes wide. "What?" He asked.

She shook her head. "I set it to black and white, the flash was dimmed. If I darken these up you really wouldn't be able to tell who was in the photos. These are actually some of the best pictures I've ever taken." She looked completely astonished as she kept clicking.

It was out of sheer morbid curiosity that he scooted up and peered at the small screen. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head and he felt his face flush. It was mostly a picture of her. The way the light and shadows played together was actually pretty fucking amazing. She was naked but the way her arms were extended down her body he couldn't see her breasts, just the long line of her and the shadow on white display of the flat planes of her stomach. Her hands were between her legs, actually tangled in his hair, her leg draped over his shoulder and his hand was splayed flat against her hip. More lights and shadow played over him but just the top of his head and his shoulders could be seen. Her thigh was blocking the view of his face. All in all, and he didn't know shit about photography, this was one hell of a photo.

There were others where he was in plane view. Like when he was raised up on his knees and her fingers were working on undoing his pants. In this one he was looking down, letting her do all the work, the expression on his face one of total anticipation.

"I don't want to delete these," she muttered.

"Carol," he growled. "You have to delete those.

The next series of pictures were them actually having sex. He hated to admit it but he actually looked like he knew what he was doing. Too bad his ass was on display in a lot of them. He stopped looking, letting her do what she needed to do but he was going to check that damn camera in the morning and make sure that every one of those pictures got deleted. He would never admit that looking at them was making him want to do it again already.

"These are so good," she muttered.

He situated himself and closed his eyes. He wasn't going to argue with her.

"I told you the camera loves you," she said, sounding close. He opened his eyes and she was lying on her side, facing him.

He was surprised to feel her hand slide slowly over his stomach, drifting a little lower. Her eyes were wide and bright and he was relieved once he realized what she wanted. He grabbed her hand and pulled her until she was on top of him.

Her eyes grew wider. "I knew those pictures got you all hot and bothered."

"You're still deleting them," he muttered before he pulled her down to claim her mouth.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello! This is late so, sorry about that. We're down to about 5 more chapters of this =)**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

He didn't go to sleep as fast as she did, likely because he had slept so long in the van. That and he couldn't seem to shut off his thoughts. For once in his life, he didn't mind though. She was close, of course, one arm thrown over his midsection, one leg hooked through his like she was afraid that he might try to escape in the middle of the night. No damn chance of that, though. He tried to figure it out, tried to rationalize the impact that one girl could have on him but he just couldn't. Being with her like this should have had him ready to bolt but it didn't. He was absently running his fingers over her back, like it was the most natural thing in the world to do but it wasn't. Not at all. Not for him.

He didn't know how he was going to leave her once this trip was over. The thought of actually staying in a place like LA had his heart trip hammering. The concrete, the crowds, it was so far from his comfort zone. But then again, so was she. He had never met anyone like her, so hell bent on opening him up and forcing himself to see in him what she saw in him. Forcing him to be okay with who he was, where he was. Forcing him to let her in.

Sometimes he felt as though he hated himself. There just hadn't ever seemed to be much there to like about himself because it seemed like he'd always had to try so much harder than anyone else just to keep people from hating him. It was hard going your whole life and simply never feeling good enough. Knowing that there was something wrong with you but not understanding enough about it to actually be able to fix it. So, he shot people down and he shut them out without even trying anymore. It was a lonely place, sure, but at least it was safe. At least he knew that if he kept the door locked, he didn't have to try. Didn't have to feel so let down by himself and by the world.

He turned his head, studying her face for a few long moments. Her brows came together in a frown and then she shifted, turning her back to him. She reached behind her, like she was seeking him out in her sleep until she finally found his hand and tugged lightly. He rolled, letting her pull his arm around her until he was holding on tight and then she sighed, a contented sound.

He smiled and shook his head. It was almost like he had spent his entire life clinging to a ledge, scrambling, slipping, fighting to keep from falling and somehow she had appeared at the top out of nowhere, dragged him onto solid ground and now he was finally standing up. He would never tell her this but in a way, and in such a short time, somehow she had saved him from falling. And now he couldn't bear the thought of losing her and that was a whole new kind of fear. When a guy never had anything good, he knew nothing about the fear of losing it. But he was scared now. He liked who he was becoming. He liked the person that she saw in him and he wanted to continue to strive to be that person. He was better with her. He was different and he was capable and he was just... he was just a normal guy. Without her, he had nightmares, he was too filled with self doubt to even really talk to other people, he was always on the defensive. And he knew he couldn't just depend on her to make all of that go away, but she could be the reason that he finally started working on himself.

He knew that the way he felt about her, and about this... thing that they shared, he would suffer the city. He wouldn't leave her there.

~H~

She woke up before he did, even though that second time around took him a lot longer and she was the one that did all the work. By the time she got out of the shower he was still sound asleep. She took his wallet and quickly grabbed some cash and her camera, scribbled a note about going to get them some breakfast and then left out quietly.

She ran into the girl from the office when she made it to the parking lot. The girl smiled but Carol just breezed past her with a scowl on her face.

"Where's your friend?" The girl asked.

Carol glanced up before opening the van door. "Asleep. He had kind of a long night. Thanks for the attitude yesterday by the way. You did me a huge favor."

The girl's dark eyes grew hard but she smiled. "I didn't know you needed the help."

Carol smiled back. "Trust me, sweetheart, I didn't. Two rooms was my idea but you kind of forced his hand. Turned out to be a hell of a night." She got in and slammed the door shut, not giving the girl a chance to say anything else. She drove until she found one of those Super Centers that sold just about everything.

She pulled the camera onto her lap and went through the photos again, making slight adjustments to a lot of them. It was a strange thing, watching yourself have sex for the first time. But there was no way she was losing these. Not only did she want them because she needed them, needed to have them for after they parted ways, but they were too good to trash. There was just too much that would go wasted if she didn't do this. So she shouldered the camera bag and went straight to the photo center. She tried to stand directly in front of the screen as the photos came up. A lot of them were just fun candid shots but others, the ones from last night, those were racy, even with the new shading. And there were a lot of them. The camera had been set to take a photo every twenty seconds. That was three photos a minute for over sixty minutes. But it was worth every penny they ended up costing her.

By the time she stopped and picked up breakfast she had been gone for nearly two hours. She was planning on lying about where she had been. He was adamant that she delete the pictures. She had bought a binder with clear plastic folders to store the pictures in. When she finally made it back he wasn't in bed but the bathroom door was cracked and steam was rolling out.

She hurriedly stuffed the binder into the bottom of her bag. She laid out their breakfast on the small table next to the window and started eating without him. When he came out she worried for a second that there would be a replay of the morning before, when they had woken up feeling like idiots for their actions. When his eyes met hers and then turned to the food she realized that that wasn't the case at all.

"Fuck yeah. I'm starvin'," he said as he pulled out the chair and sat down across from her. "What took you so long?"

She shrugged. "I drove around for a little while."

He nodded, like taking his van and his money was okay by him. "You wanna stay another night or you wanna hit the road?"

"Maybe we should hit the road. Find another cheap motel. I ran into the stupid girl down there and she gets on my nerves."

He shook his head. "She woke me up."

Carol's eyes narrowed to slits and when he glanced at her he did a double take. "I told her that you were asleep. Why the hell would she..." her eyes narrowed.

His brows shot up and he took a drink of his coffee, watching her carefully. "You're jealous." He sounded completely amazed by the fact.

"Why was she here?" She asked, feeling her temper rise. It was odd because she wasn't even aware she had a temper at all until that very moment."

"She banged on the door till I got up and then she gave me some towels."

"Did she say anything?"

"She asked if I needed anything else."

"But when she did was like it last night or was she seriously trying to be helpful?"

He shrugged. "Fuck if I know. I just told her no and shut the door. That was it."

She eyed him for a few long moments and then tried to shake the uncharacteristic feeling. "Well, she's a bitch."

He nodded, chewing his food and trying to repress a smile. "I agree."

"So, where should we go?" She asked, needing to change the subject.

"California," he deadpanned.

"But I thought..." her words hung in the air. He wanted to hurry up and get her to California. This wasn't a good sign. Not a good sign at all.

"I know but I was thinkin' this mornin'. It'd be stupid to wait and spend all that money on motels and bullshit. You need to be in California to do what you need to do. If we can put back most of that money, it'll be enough to get you started."

"And what are you going to do once we get there?" She asked hesitantly. She understood where he was coming from but she couldn't help but feel like she was on a runaway train heading straight for heartbreak.

He shrugged. "I can hang out for a while. Figure out a way to get some money to get back on the road."

"Or you could stay," she said quickly, regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth because she didn't want him to know how far gone she was over him. She still barely knew anything about him. Hell, his name may not even be Daryl at all for all she knew. But she knew she was lying to herself. It didn't matter how long they had known each other, she felt like she had known him all her life. She didn't understand it but that was how she felt.

He met her eyes, holding her gaze with an intense look. "Or I could stay," he said, sounding like he was trying to see how the words tasted in his mouth.

"Do you think you would want to?" She asked, keeping her voice even so as not to sound too eager. The last thing she wanted him to think was that she was some clingy psycho.

He looked down at the table. "How the hell do you know you would even want me to? Other than a couple of days of fun, you don't know anything about me. Not anything at all really. I might not be the kind of person you really want around. You ever think of that?"

She scowled. "No. I never thought of that because that wouldn't happen."

They finished their food in silence and when he did speak it had nothing to do with where he would be staying. "Where we heading to now?"

"Roswell New Mexico," she said without hesitating.

He chuckled. "Roswell New Mexico, huh? Why there?"

"Aliens."

"Aliens?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Yes," she said, groaning inwardly and preparing to get made fun of.

He didn't look like he was about to mock her though. He just looked thoughtful, staring off as he leaned back in his chair. "I saw a Chupacabra while I was huntin' once."

Her eyes widened and she leaned into the table. "Seriously," she gasped. "What happened?"

He turned surprised eyes on her and the grin that broke out over his face had her grinning right back.


	15. Chapter 15

**Queenohair, shut it! ;) I love your reviews and appreciate you taking the time to leave one! And that goes for the rest of you too. Hope you enjoy this one! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Fifteen**

Daryl stole the blankets and everything else he could get his hands on from their room and while he unknowingly distracted the girl from the office as he packed up the van carol slipped in and took what money there was in the register. She didn't feel too bad because the girl was such a blatant bitch that obviously didn't want to give up on the hope that Daryl would run off with her and bang her in one of the rooms. She felt vindicated. She wasn't a thief but the girl deserved it.

She made her way towards the van, her eyes hard when she saw the girl run her hand down Daryl's forearm. He stepped away from her but Carol was pissed. She didn't even know why she was so pissed. Daryl wasn't interested in the girl and he sure as hell wasn't Carol's boyfriend. When he looked up he actually looked relieved.

"You ready?" She asked with a smile, ignoring the glare from the girl.

"Yeah," he muttered, not even glancing at the girl again.

Carol wasn't sure why she felt the need to do it but she didn't stop walking until she was right in front of him. Reaching up she cupped the back of his neck and pulled his face towards her. He grunted but kissed her when their lips met, his hands going to her hips without hesitation. Carol didn't break the kiss until she heard the stomping of feet walking away from them. She glanced over her shoulder and saw the girl storming towards the office, her fists clenched at her sides. "We need to go right now."

"I know. I'm already sick of this place."

She shook her head and hurried into the passenger seat. "No, I mean, she'll call the cops soon enough. We need miles between us and this damn motel."

"You think she's that pissed off because you kissed me?" He asked.

She shook her head and glanced back towards the office. "No. She's going to be pissed off because I just stole two hundred and fifty dollars out of the register."

He gaped at her. "Damn it, why the hell did you do that?" He glanced in the rear view mirror and pulled out quickly.

"Because I can't stand that girl and we could use the money."

"We have money."

"Well, I took more and there isn't anything to be done about it now."

"My God, you should meet Merle. I think you two would really hit it off," he grumbled.

~H~

They drove straight through and it was dark by the time they made it to Roswell. He thought that it was pretty funny that she had a thing for aliens but he'd never make fun of her for it. He was a little intrigued about the stories that she had told him about the city and it's link to extra terrestrials. He was always down for a conspiracy theory. His brother was paranoid about shit but usually that only happened when he was strung out and he hadn't been on drugs for a while now. Well, he hoped not since he was stationed somewhere in Bum Fucked Egypt. But it was kind of fun having someone around that was willing to consider weird things like that without looking at him like he was crazy. Just another reason the two of them just fit together.

The town itself was just too touristy for their taste so they didn't linger. They drove out onto some dusty road that didn't have a name that he could see. It dwindled to nothing more than a rocky path and he finally stopped the van. They had bought a large cooler loaded down with ice so they would have plenty of cold drinks. At the moment it was actually kind of cold but the morning would bring with it the scorching desert heat.

"It's so dark," she whispered, like she had to be quiet for the sake of the night itself, like she didn't want to disturb it.

"You know, we can get another room. We ain't gotta stay out here," he said, keeping just as quiet as her.

She shook her head. "No way. You were right. We have to stop blowing through our money."

He snorted. "Don't see why. You'll just steal us some more when we start running low." He still couldn't believe she had done it. He was quickly learning that she was a lot of things but a thief? He never would have guessed it.

"I only did it because I was thinking about once we finally get out there," she muttered.

The sound of the pop and tick of the cooling engine seemed loud in the stillness and he winced when his door squeaked as he opened it. He was barely out of the van when he felt her sliding out behind him. He turned but he couldn't see her face since the meager light from the van was behind her. "If you're just gonna be scared the whole time then why are we even out here?"

She gripped his forearm with both hands and pressed herself against him. "I'm not scared," she muttered.

"Yes you are."

She sighed but she didn't dare loosen her grip on him as she walked with him to the other side of the van. He pulled the side door open and reached in, grabbing one of the blankets he had tossed back there. Stuffing it under his arm he shut the door again.

"Aren't you worried about snakes and scorpions and tarantulas?" She asked.

He couldn't help but chuckle. "So you ain't scared of aliens but you're scared of creepy crawleys?"

"Well, I'm not one hundred percent sure about the aliens but I know what kind of things crawl around out here. We should just stay in the van tonight."

"You're the one that wanted to come out here," he reminded her again. "Now we're here. Let's enjoy it."

"It's so different. We're definitely not in Georgia anymore," she muttered. "It even smells like a whole other world."

He took in a deep breath of the dry air. The smell of alkaline and salt left a strange but pleasant taste on his tongue. "I guess cause it is. Now I need my other arm to get this blanket on the ground."

She sighed and let go of his arm but she still kept close. She was closer than he realized and when he tried to spread out the blanket his elbow hit her right in the face. She made a small pained sound and he dropped the blanket, instantly turning to her with a curse.

"Fuck, are you okay?" He asked, wishing it wasn't so dark so he could see if he had hurt her bad.

She grabbed his hand. "Yeah. I should have moved. I need to be more careful with my nose. This makes twice in a week that it's taken a blow."

"Who else do you know clumsy enough to hit you in the nose?" he asked, finding her hand and pulling her with him so they could sit down.

"It had nothing to do with being clumsy. Remember the ex I was telling you about? I told you he roughed me up a little bit before he left that night. He hit me in the nose."

He felt his face go hard. He remembered her telling him about that now. It seemed like a long time ago though. A lot had happened in the last few days. Things had changed. _He_ had changed. Or maybe that wasn't really true. He hadn't changed but he didn't feel the need to lock himself up. He was able to just be who he was because she accepted that. Hell, she liked it. He laid back and stared up at the darkness above him and blinked in surprise. "Jesus," he whispered.

He felt her lie down next to him, searching for his hand in the dark. He knew the exact moment she must have looked up because her breath blew out heavily. "It's like a different sky."

The sky was clear and the stars out here were nothing like he had ever seen before. The land was flat and the darkness draped over them like a blanket, infinite. Deep. He had never put much thought into how small his role in things were until that moment that he looked up into that vastness stretching out above them. The stars hung in actual clusters, more here than he had ever seen in his life even though he had looked up at the very same sky back in Georgia.

"Do you miss home?" She asked, scooting closer until their sides were pressed together and she actually had to move their linked hands.

"Didn't have a home," he muttered, his eyes scanning the immense sky.

"Who did you live with?"

"My dad."

"What happened to your lip, that wasn't the first time he ever hurt you." It wasn't a question.

He was quiet, the desert was quiet, like it needed to know his secrets as much as she did. "Nah. That wasn't the first time."

"Is he the reason for all those scars on your back?"

He tensed, swallowed and then turned his head. He couldn't really see her face but she hadn't moved. She was still looking up. All he could really make out were her eyes and that was because they mirrored the sky. He knew she had known they were there. The scars. But he hadn't expected her to comment on it. "Yeah," he finally confirmed but he knew she hadn't needed him to.

They stayed like that, neither of them speaking, for a long time. He wondered to himself why he was okay with her knowing so much about him, more than even his own brother knew, but he had no answer. It was just one of those things that simply _was_. "We should probably get some sleep if you wanna spend tomorrow actin' like a tourist."

She laughed quietly, letting go of his hand and sitting up. "I'm surprised you're thinking about sleep. You slept late today."

"Yeah, and then I drove for nearly nine hours. My ass hurts."

She laughed again. "That is definitely a shame. No ass that cute should feel any kind of pain."

His face flamed and he snorted. "Stop it," he grumbled. He let go of her hand and sat up with her. "You ready to hit the sack?"

"Actually, I'm not."

"You just wanna keep laying here? If we fall asleep I can't promise that those creepy things you're so worried about won't be crawling all over you in the morning."

"I don't want to sleep," she whispered, still not making a move to get up.

"Well then what do you want to do?" He swallowed hard. He was starting to have an idea of what he wanted to do but he wouldn't dare say it out loud. Lucky for him, she was some kind of mind reader.

"I want you to take off my clothes and I want you to make me feel like you did last night," she whispered.

Her bold words had his blood turning to fire in his veins and he surprised himself when he acted on her request so quickly. She scrambled up onto her knees, facing him. She was wearing a dress and he quickly pulled it over her head. He made quick work of his shirt and her hands were on him quickly, mapping out every muscle, every curve of his torso as his lips found hers in the dark. His hands traveled down her back, amazed not for the first time at how soft her skin was under his touch and how, already, it was so familiar to him. He lifted her easily, her legs going around his waist as he lowered her to the ground. He settled between her thighs, kissing her slowly, savoring the moment.

"Daryl?" She whispered when his lips traveled lower.

"Hmm?" He hummed against the hollow of her throat.

"Do you think it's possible to love somebody when you barely even know them?"

He raised his head slowly, wide eyes unable to make out her features in the dark. He turned the question over in his mind. His heart was thundering so loud he was sure that she could hear it and he knew that it had nothing to do with what they were about to do. If someone would have asked him something like that a week ago he would have laughed in their face. But in that moment, with her beneath him, the vast desert sky above him, and the endless and blindingly bright future he could have with her laid out in front of him, he believed that it was a question that he could answer with complete honesty. "Yeah. I do."

She pulled his face back down to hers. Neither of them spoke again as they lost themselves in each other there on a stolen blanket in the middle of a whole new world.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Carol felt like time was slipping through her hands. Mostly because it was. They spent one more night in the desert after exploring what Roswell had to offer. He taught her how to shoot. She taught him how to take a compliment. She always kept the camera in her hands. She didn't know how long he would stay with her and it scared the hell out of her. The thought of facing the future without him was too much for her frazzled nerves to handle.

From Roswell they made their way to Tonto National Forest in Arizona. They were just one state away from their destination. Carol was amazed at the jagged landscape. They were camped out next to a lake, the mountains rising across from the water. Out here it was like no other humans existed but the two of them.

She was rummaging through the back of the van and found something that was covered up with a leather jacket. She couldn't even make heads or tails of what it was. When he climbed into the van she pointed. "What is this?"

His eyes followed her finger and then he shrugged. "Crossbow."

She was a pretty good shot with a gun thanks to him but she'd never used a bow before. Obviously, because she didn't even know what it was. "Are you as good with this as you are the guns?" She asked.

His lips twitched. "I'm better with the bow than I am the guns."

Her brow raised. "Really? Show me," she said excitedly.

He looked like he had to think about it for a while and then gave a stiff nod. "Alright, but that means whatever I'm able to shoot today, is what we eat tonight."

She made a face. "What if you shoot an armadillo or something?"

"Then you're gonna figure out what it tastes like."

She made a face. "Okay, maybe you can just show me later then."

He pulled out a plastic case from the corner next to the bow and opened it up. She saw a few things she couldn't identify and then some knives. He nodded and then hauled the bow up and over his lap. He ran his hand over it, almost like a caress. She snorted and he looked up. "What?" He asked, eyes narrowing.

She snorted again. "You haven't touched me like that in hours."

He eyed her for a moment and then, faster than she thought possible he moved the bow and then pounced on her, pressing her into the mattress. He straddled her hips and pinned her arms above her head. "Cause you ain't as delicate as that thing."

She rolled her eyes. "I am as delicate as they come."

He brought his face down to hers and she lifted her head, trying to meet him half way but he pulled back at the last minute. She glared at him but her heart started hammering quickly against her rib cage. She tried to pull her hands free but that didn't work. He grinned and then did it again, keeping just out of reach of her lips. The grin on his face was almost worth the torture and she found herself grinning right back. The weight of their limited time lifted when he finally kissed her, slow and deep at first but then more aggressive. He didn't let go of her wrists but he moved so he was between her legs, pressing her into the thin mattress and igniting that all consuming fire inside of her.

"You ready to go kill something?" He asked once he pulled his face away again.

She squirmed under him and she saw a muscle tick in his jaw as he ground his teeth together. "Sure you don't want to do something else?" Her face was filled with false innocence. "Cause it kind of feels like you'd rather do something else."

"You're an ass," he grumbled, rolling off of her. He pulled the latch on the back door and then kicked it open, sliding out and grabbing her by the ankle. He yanked her out of the van and then reached back in to grab the bow. He shouldered it and grabbed her hand, leading her away from the lake and towards flatter land.

They walked in silence for a long time and she couldn't get over how amazing the land was. The sky, the sparse trees and desert scrub, the air. It was all so different from what she was used to. "It's beautiful out here," she murmured, watching a large bird push itself off of the rock face ahead of them and catch the wind, riding it like a wave.

"I've never thought about living anywhere else other than Georgia, but I can see myself living here," he said with a nod.

"Can we?" She asked suddenly.

He glanced at her. "What?"

"We can stay here. Not forever but for a little while. You can show me how to survive in the wild. It'll be fun. Just you and me."

"You'd get bored and you'd get sick of eating whatever the hell I caught," he said.

She pulled him to a stop and he looked down at her curiously. "Please," she said in a shaky voice. "I don't want to get to California just yet, okay. I don't want to think about you leaving and that's all I can think about. It's all I ever think about. Just a week. Give me one week and then we can go."

"Carol it ain't like I'm gonna drop you off and then drive away," he said, not meeting her eyes.

She shook her head. "I know that. But I also know you better than you think. You won't be able to stay with me in LA. Not because you don't want to but because you'll be miserable there."

He finally met her gaze and held it for a long time. He looked sad. More than that, really. He looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Finally he nodded. "Okay. We can stay here for as long as you want."

She felt relief wash all of the tension away. She wasn't stupid. She knew that he cared about her. But there was no way that the feelings she had for him could be mutual. They hadn't known each other long and yet she was certain that she was completely in love with him. It wasn't just infatuation, though there was a bit of that mixed in there as well. Her feelings for him maybe didn't make any sense but they were there all the same, sometimes scaring her to death with their intensity. And she was terrified of the moment he would leave her. And she knew he would. Knew he wouldn't make it in some concrete jungle.

A part of her wanted to say to hell with it all and follow him to the ends of the earth if she had to. But then she would remember why she was with him in the first place. She wanted to do this. She wanted to make something of herself. She wanted to be someone that her mother would be proud of. And so she was destined to keep moving west, even though she felt like she was sacrificing her one chance at something real. She would give California six months. If she didn't make her mark in six months then she would leave it all, tell herself that at least she had tried, and she would be with him wherever he ended up. It made her feel pathetic and it made her feel needy, but she loved him and she wanted to be near him. There wasn't anything wrong with that.

She was pulled from her thoughts when he dropped her hand and put his finger to his lips. He pointed further out but she had no idea what she was suppose to be looking at. All she could see at the moment was desert scrub, cactus, rock formations and mountains in the distance. She scanned the area again and again but still saw nothing.

He slowly brought the bow around, lifting it like it weighed nothing though the muscles in his arm flexed and bunched at it's weight. She jumped slightly when suddenly he let the bolt fly. When he lowered the bow he looked at her, his eyes dancing before he grabbed her hand and led her forward. She finally saw what he had been leading her to and she couldn't help but feel bad. "You killed a bunny," she muttered.

He laughed and dropped her hand, picking the dead thing up by the ears. "It ain't a bunny. It's a Jack rabbit and now it's dinner."

She swallowed. "How are we gonna cook it? We don't have any pans or pots or anything." She was hoping he would just come to his senses and realize that they would be better off buying some hot dogs and cooking them on the end of a stick.

"I'll show you," he said, acting like it wasn't a big deal at all that he was carrying the dead rabbit by the ears back towards their camp.

She made sure she didn't look at it. She wished she hadn't even asked him to show her how to use it but she figured if they were really going to stay here for a while she needed to hold up her end of the bargain. And he really did look like he had enjoyed the hunt.

There was a flat topped rock near the lake and he tossed the dead rabbit onto it as he walked by. She stood there between the rabbit and the van, waiting on him. When he came back he was carrying the case with the knives. He sat down, straddling the rock and motioned for her to come over so she could see better. Only, she didn't want to see better.

He pulled the corpse closer and, to her complete horror, started the cleaning process. He sliced a notch into it's back and then peeled the skin away down to the feet. She felt the blood drain from her face. The way his hands moved, removing the skin, it was almost like he was literally undressing the animal. When he snapped the bones down by its feet and then pulled them away from the animal she thought she was going to gag.

He glanced up and then did a double take. "Are you gonna puke?"

She realized then that she had her arms wrapped around her midsection. She shook her head quickly.

"You ready for the gross part?" He asked.

She cleared her throat and nodded, trying to put on a brave face.

He shook his head, a small smile on his face as he picked up the naked little animal and then made a cut in it's abdomen. His fingers moved quickly and he stood up and tossed the insides into the lake. He made a few more cuts, examining something dark and slimy. He held it up and motioned her to come closer. She took one step and he grinned. "You always gotta remember to check the liver. You see any white or gray spots on it, you gotta toss your whole kill."

She craned her neck to peer a little closer. The meat didn't look as though there were anything wrong with it. She nodded, letting him know she understood.

She swallowed down her disgust and finished watching him. By the time he was done he rinsed off the corpse, because she refused to call it dinner, in the lake and then took it to the low fire he had built earlier in the day. She was curious now. The point she tried to make earlier was that they had no cookware to use out here.

He taught her how to ready the thing to be, what he called, spit roasted. This part wasn't as bad as the actual cleaning part. She was getting used to the idea and if this was all she had to do to have a little more time with him then she would get used to it.


	17. Chapter 17

**So, here's chapter 17. Be gentle! I woke up to frozen pipes so take pity on me! lol**

 **Chapter Seventeen**

They didn't stay out there in the desert for a week like they had planned. They stayed out there for four weeks. Daryl taught her everything he knew and at first he could tell that she couldn't stand it. By the time they had gotten through their first week she was making her own kills. She was bad with the bow but when he introduced her to the rifle, she proved to be a natural. She wasn't bad with a hand gun but she was a pro at taking down a moving target with the rifle.

They had moved to the other side of the lake, between two rock faces that offered shade for most of the day and there they discovered where the river fed the lake. They had a water source and they had food. Even the vegetation was ideal for consumption. It was strange to him that she would do all of this. When they had first met she hadn't struck him as the type of person that could rough it like they had been roughing it. He had also expected them to get sick of only having the other as their only company. That proved to be wrong. They talked a lot. They laughed a lot. They had what was probably considered an unhealthy amount of sex. And for all of those weeks, they didn't encounter another human being and neither one of them cared in the least.

If it was up to him they would have stayed out there for the rest of their lives because it suited them so damn well. They worked together. He couldn't even begin to contemplate how empty his life had been just a month ago and how incredibly full it was now. Just because of one person.

"I hate leaving," she muttered as she pushed her bag into the van.

"Yeah, me too," he agreed.

"Then why are we leaving?" She asked, her arms going around his waist as soon as he turned to face her.

"Because you got shit to do with your life that don't involve hidin' out in a desert with me. We'll be alright."

She nodded and then pressed her forehead into his chest. He had told her a week ago that he'd stay with her in California. She could do what she needed to do and he would do what he could to help her and somehow they would be okay. But he wasn't leaving her anywhere. That was something he knew. He physically couldn't do it. He emotionally couldn't do it. Maybe it wouldn't make sense to anyone that wasn't them but it was just how things were. He needed her. She needed him. Neither one of them were the same people apart. He hadn't left his house that night thinking that he was going to become that guy. That guy that meets a girl and falls ass over tea kettle for her and follows her to the end of the goddamn earth. But he had.

"What if you hate it?" She asked, raising her head and looking up at him with worried eyes.

"Then I'll hate it. But I'll still stay."

She didn't say anything else. She just pulled his face down and kissed him softly. He understood her worry. He knew he was going to hate it. But he would endure it for her. Once she finally pulled away and crawled into the passenger seat he finished tossing their stuff inside and then they were leaving, putting their own personal oasis behind them and heading for a much more hectic and unsure future.

"I need to do one thing before we do this," he said as he hit the interstate.

She kept her eyes trained on the windshield. "What do you need to do?"

He sighed. "I gotta call home. I wanna ask that asshole about my brother. He calls a few times a week. I need to tell the old man to let him know I'm still alive."

She finally looked at him. "You miss your brother, don't you?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I mean, he's a real asshole, don't get me wrong but me and him were always close. He took a lot of shit for me back when I was little after my mom died."

"He's ten years older than you, its a wonder that the two of you are close at all," she smiled. "Maybe I can meet him some day."

Daryl laughed. "Oh God. It'll take me a year to prepare you for him."

"I'm not scared," she grinned.

"You should be," he grumbled.

They were quiet as they drove to Flagstaff. He knew she was still worried about whether he would end up leaving her there in California alone and he didn't know what to do to make her believe that he would never do it no matter how bad it got. "You want me to come with you?" She asked once they pulled up at a convenience store that still had a payphone out near the street.

He glanced out his window at the phone and then back to her. He had been dreading this call. Dreaded it ever since he made the decision days ago to make it. But the thought of her being right there made the thought a little less shitty anyway. Goddamn, he was turning into a full fledged pussy. "Yeah."

He made a face when he picked up the receiver and made the collect call. He sure as hell wasn't going to use his money to talk to the man. Not even a few quarters. He waited while the operator asked if the person that answered would accept the charges, stating his name when he was asked to. He glanced at her and she smiled.

"Where the fuck have you been!"

Daryl froze at the angry voice on the other end. It wasn't his dad. "Merle? What the hell are you doin' home?"

"I asked first. Where the fuck are you at?" Merle barked. "Do you have any goddamn idea what the fuck I've been through for the past week? I thought your stupid goddamn ass was dead in a fuckin' ditch somewhere. You got people lookin' for you all over the country. I had to file a fuckin' missin' persons report."

"I'm in Arizona. Are you on leave or somethin'?"

"What the fuck are you doin' in Arizona?" he barked, causing Daryl to wince.

"If you don't stop screamin' in my fuckin' ear I'm gonna hang up and you can go fuck yourself, Merle," he snapped. There was silence on the other end for so long that he thought maybe Merle hung up on him.

"How long have you been gone?" Merle asked, his voice barely controlled.

Daryl glanced at Carol and she was watching him with wide eyes. "I don't know. A little over a month I guess."

"A month? You've been traipsing around the country for a fuckin' month while I've been dealing with all this shit?"

Carol squeezed his hand before she let go. "I'm gonna go get us something to drink, okay?"

"Alright," He nodded.

"Was that a fuckin' girl?" Merle asked, his voice cold.

"Yeah, she's friend of mine. I answered your questions so you can answer some of mine. What are you doing home?"

"I'm out," he said quickly.

"If I woulda known that I woulda called sooner," he said, feeling guilty about making his brother worry so much. Merle sounded off and he knew it was his fault.

"The old man's dead," Merle said suddenly.

Daryl pulled the phone away from his ear and looked at it for a minute. Did he just say dead? He placed the phone back to his ear, fear gripping him and making it hard to speak. "When?" Had he roughed him up to the point where he actually did enough damage to kill him? He had been standing when Daryl had walked out.

"I got home last week and found him. He'd been in here rottin' for a week before I got here."

"A week? What the hell killed him?" He asked, silently praying that it wasn't from some beating he had gotten recently.

"Pills is what they're guessin'. You're coming home."

Carol put something cold in his hand and he took a few long drinks. "I can't do that, Merle."

"You're comin' home goddamn it! You're comin' home on your own or I'm huntin' you down and I swear when I find you it's gonna be an ugly site. You skipped out long enough."

Daryl met Carol's eyes and shook his head. "I don't even have a way to get home. The van broke down and I can't fix it."

She looked at him with a frown forming between her brows.

"I'll wire you enough money to get here. I can't fuckin' do this shit on my own."

Daryl heard something in Merle's voice that he had never heard before and he felt his chest tighten painfully, steal bands encasing his lungs and pressing the air out of him. "Merle, I can't go back there, alright. I have somethin' I gotta do."

"I buried our fuckin' dad alone, goddamn it. Do you know how many people showed up? Me. Just me and the fuckin' funeral director. I had to walk in that house and find his rotting fucking corpse. You ain't tellin' me that you can't. I'm gonna wire you the money for a plane ticket and your ass has to be out on the next flight. If I have to hunt you down myself I swear when I get a hold of you I'll-"

"Alright," he said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Alright."

"What the hell was you thinkin' takin' off like that?" Merle asked, but Daryl barely heard him. He was watching Carol now and he knew that somehow she knew. She didn't know specifics but she knew he wasn't going with her. He listened as Merle told him where he would send him money, not saying much in return as his eyes stayed on Carol's.

When he hung up he ran a hand through his hair. His throat was thick and he still didn't feel like he was getting enough air into his lungs.

"When do you have to leave?" She asked, her voice betraying the brave face that she was trying to put on for him.

"I wouldn't. I... My brother came home and found my old man dead. He's been dealin' with that all by himself. If it wasn't for that I swear I-"

She shook her head and stopped his half hearted explanation with a finger to his lips. "I'm so sorry, Daryl. If it wasn't for me you would have known a lot sooner." She hugged hi then and he felt the bottle slip out of his hand as he wrapped his arms around her. He was holding onto her too tight and he knew it but he couldn't loosen his grip and she was holding on too. There had to be another way to do this.


	18. Chapter 18

**Pooh120, I missed you guys too!**

 **There's probably going to be a longish Author's Note for the next chapter because I have to explain some things and I'll need your input! Hope everyone is staying warm! Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter Eighteen**

She had seen this coming. No matter how many times he had reassured her that this would all work out, something had told her that it would all fall apart somehow. And it had. They were standing outside of the small Flagstaff airport where he would board a flight to Phoenix Sky Harbor. They had picked up the money that his brother had sent earlier.

"I can't take the van, Daryl," she said as they stood there.

"What the fuck am I gonna do other than leave it here?" He asked, leaning against the front of it. "I ain't leavin' you here to hitch the rest of the way. Take the stupid van and take the money. I don't need either."

She wanted to be this pillar of strength because she knew how bad this was hurting him, but she couldn't because it was hurting her just as much. "I don't want the van and I don't want the money. I just want you."

He blew out a breath and she saw the pain in his eyes right before the whole world blurred before she could even think of blinking back the tears. He pulled her towards him and she didn't hesitate. She locked her arms around his neck and held on as if letting him go meant ripping herself in half, and that's what this felt like. He hugged her back hard, hard enough that it hurt, but she still didn't let go. He took in a shaky breath and eased her back. "You got my number. You have to call, alright?"

She nodded and tried to wipe her eyes so she could actually see him but they just filled up again.

"And don't stay in the van. You have enough to set yourself up in a motel until you get on your feet. And you keep that fuckin' pistol on you no matter what. Don't leave the van without it."

She shook her head. "I won't."

"We'll still be alright. Maybe we'll have to wait a few months until we get everything situated but that ain't too long. You get there and work your ass off, keep busy and I'll be there before you know it."

She wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, him or herself. A few months really wasn't all that long but she couldn't imagine waking up and him not being with her. "I should go back with you."

He shook his head. "Do what you came all the way out here to do. If you don't then you're gonna regret the fuck out of it and we both know it."

"Not as much as I'm gonna regret letting you get on that plane," she said, her voice cracking along with her heart.

"I'll be there tomorrow. Call me first thing, okay," he said as he shouldered his bag.

She nodded and then kissed him, knowing that he had to go soon. When she pulled away she actually forced herself to take a step away from him. "And you aren't allowed to pick up anymore hitchhiking hippies, got it? That's a rule. And I won't ever get into some hot guys van."

He smiled but it looked forced. "I can live with that."

"I'll talk to you later," she said, taking another step back, the keys feeling heavy in her hands.

He nodded.

"I left you a few things in your bag but don't look until I'm gone."

He closed the distance between them, cupping her face and kissing her hard. She kissed him back with just as much force, melting against him. He broke the kiss with a heavy sigh and pressed his forehead against hers.

"You have to go," she whispered.

"Yeah, I know."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." She didn't linger anymore or she was never going to let him leave. She got into the van and slammed the door. When she looked up he was walking away, his head down, his hand sliding down his face, like he had to try to scrub away the emotions there. As soon as he disappeared through the doors she broke down completely. She had never felt so completely alone in her entire life. She had been all alone before she met him, sure, but that wasn't so bad. She hadn't known what she was missing. Since the moment he picked her up sparks flew, the earth shifted under her feet and she was irrevocably _changed_ because of him. She had been alone before, but she had been whole. Now, she was in pieces and he was taking a lot of those pieces with him.

She finally pulled away when she had calmed down enough to drive. Her future seemed very bleak now. Her whole point in leaving in the first place was to do what she needed to do on her own. But her plans had changed and now things seemed almost hopeless.

~H~

He landed at Atlanta International at nine o'clock that night. He'd only had to deal with one layover after leaving Phoenix so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He hadn't ever been on a plane in his life and with the emotional turmoil already rolling through him on top of the anxiety of leaving Carol and the plane going down in a fiery crash he had thrown up twice. He had to call Merle as soon as he landed and then wait another thirty minutes before Merle drove out to pick him up.

When he spotted him he had mixed emotions. Despite all of his faults he loved his brother. Merle had always been there for him until the day he walked out to join the military. And he only did that because if he didn't then he would have ended up behind bars. He hadn't seen his brother for two years and he wished that it could be a happy reunion, but he didn't feel happy about being here.

"You ready to go," Merle said once he stopped in front of where Daryl was standing.

Daryl nodded and shouldered his bag. It was that moment he remembered that Carol had said she left something in it. He would wait though. Wait until he was alone.

"You traveled all across the country with nothin' but that bag?" Merle asked as they made their way out to Merle's truck.

Daryl offered another nod. He didn't trust his voice right now.

Merle must have sensed something was wrong. Very wrong, because he didn't press him. He barely spoke on the way back home. Home? It didn't feel like that. It never had. He felt more at home in the back of the van out in the desert with Carol. This place had never been a home to him and it never would.

"You hungry?" Merle asked once they stepped inside.

Daryl glanced around. The mess was cleaned up for the most part. When he had left the place had been trashed. He shook his head and started towards the hall.

He didn't get far before Merle's heavy hand landed on his shoulder. He shrunk away from him, rounding on his brother. "What? What the fuck do you want, Merle? I'm here, alright? Don't expect me to be jumpin' for fuckin' joy about it."

Merle's eyes grew hard. "You shouldn't have left in the first fuckin' place. Maybe if you'd have been here he wouldn't have done what he did."

Daryl clenched his fists at his sides. "But you can leave, right? You can pack up and take off and not look back but I couldn't. You think I give a fuck that he's dead? Hell, if I coulda gotten away with it I would have killed him myself so fuck you and your guilt trip." He turned to walk away but Merle grabbed him by the back of the shirt, yanking him backwards hard. The thing was threadbare, tearing easily.

Merle dropped his hold on him as Daryl rounded once more, shoving him in the chest hard. Merle didn't even seem to notice. He was staring at him, his blue eyes wide. Scars that Carol had been able to overlook seemed to stun Merle into complete immobility. He shook his head. "I didn't know," he said, sounding winded.

Daryl glared. "You knew. Don't fuckin' tell me you didn't know. It's why you left."

"I didn't know he'd do the same thing to you."

"That's a fuckin' lie. I left like you and you had to guilt me into comin' back and because of you... Fuck it. I'm goin' to bed. I don't need to tell you shit. I don't owe you a damn thing." He stalked off, his body locking up with that tension that had always plagued him. Up until recently, anyway. He hated the feeling but there was nothing he could do about it. He missed her more now than he did when he had left her back in Arizona. He wanted that feeling of acceptance again. He wanted to let his guard down. He almost wished he had given in and let her come with him. It wouldn't have been the right thing to do but he hated being without her. He didn't understand it and Merle wouldn't understand it but it didn't make it any less real.

He slammed the door and glanced around his room. His eyes hardened. His dad had fucked the place up. There was stuff thrown around, the mirror on his dresser was shattered and there were several holes in the walls where the asshole had taken some blunt object and beat against them. A chill ran up his spine at the rage that such destruction represented. He sat down heavily on the bed and pulled his bag onto his lap. He was almost afraid to open it.

At the bottom, under his clothes he found a blank envelope. He didn't hesitate before tearing it open. He was surprised when he slid out the contents and discovered pictures. A few he had even taken himself back in Oklahoma when he had grabbed the camera from her. He smiled at the outraged expression on her face. Some others were from the night in that motel room. The first night. They were innocent enough. Or the first couple were anyway. They were both fully clothed, her on top of him and him staring up at her like she had lost her damn mind. The next was him pulling her face towards his. The next they were kissing. He flipped through them until the very last one, both of them shirtless, her hands in his hair. Her lips were parted and her eyelids were heavy as she looked down at him. "Mother of fucking God," he breathed, shifting uncomfortably on the mattress. After that one there were shots of them together in the desert, fun photos. Her sitting between his legs, her back pressed against his chest and his head on her shoulder, looking right at the camera and he remembered how happy he had felt in that moment before the camera snapped the photo. Saw the absolute joy in her eyes. So many more were there. Even though he was thankful that he had them, every one of them hurt to look at because they just made him miss her that much more.

He started over again and then again, thankful that he had a reminder of her but unable to keep his face from turning red every time he thought about what other pictures she must possess. He wanted to just go to sleep so he could wake up and talk to her. Sleep didn't come easily but he eventually felt himself dozing off, missing the sound of the desert and Carol's soft rhythmic breathing. Missing the way her body always seemed to fit perfectly against his.

Sleeping alone sucked.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

When Daryl woke up he had hoped that yesterday had just been a bad dream. When he opened his eyes and it proved to all be grim reality he rolled out of bed, not wanting to dwell on anything. He felt bad for how he had treated his brother. He knew why Merle had to leave when he did and it wasn't right to throw it in his face like he had. Merle didn't know anything that had gone on with him over the last few weeks and it wasn't fair to blame Merle for everything.

When he threw open the door the smell of strong coffee assaulted his nose. He followed it to the kitchen and saw Merle sitting at the table, his head turned to stare out the window at the back yard. Daryl didn't say a word as he poured himself a cup and sat down across from him, rubbing a hand across his bleary eyes.

"You look like shit," Merle observed. "Looks like you didn't sleep at all."

"You don't look much better," Daryl muttered. He felt Merle's eyes on him but he didn't look up. "That shit I said last night-"

"You said what you said. Water under the bridge," Merle cut him off.

Daryl finally looked up at him. Merle was frowning and then tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing before his lips twitched into the shadow of a smile. Daryl squirmed in his chair. "The fuck you lookin' at?" He grumbled.

Merle's gaze lifted to Daryl's eyes and then he shrugged. "You didn't tell me it was so rough for you out there."

Daryl knew he was being set up. "What?"

Merle shrugged and sipped his coffee. "Well, looks to me like you got attacked."

Daryl narrowed his eyes.

"I'm countin' at least... three."

"Three what? What the fuck are you goin' on about?"

"Bite marks. You got bit."

Daryl's eyes widened and then he covered the side of his neck with his hand and stood up. "You're stupid."

"What's her name?" Merle asked.

"None of your business," Daryl grumbled.

"That ain't very nice," Merle chuckled. "Wait," he turned, eyes wide. "It was from a girl, right? You didn't turn into some big ol peter puffer while I was away, did you?"

"Merle, I hope your dick rots off," he muttered as he stormed out of the kitchen.

"Come on, don't be like that. I get it now."

Daryl froze, his back to his brother. "No, you don't get it. If you did you wouldn't have asked me to come back here." He was sorry about the things he had said to Merle the night before but he wasn't going to let him off the hook. He wasn't going to smile and act like everything was going to be okay because nothing was. Until his ass could get back out west, nothing would.

"Well, I hate to get your feathers ruffled but I hope you didn't get unpacked. We're leavin' out in an hour."

He turned, a strange feeling of helplessness making his chest feel hollow. "What?"

"Got us a sweet little place in Augusta. We both got jobs waiting on us there."

"I ain't leavin'. Not yet. I can't," Daryl said, shaking his head.

"Didn't you hear a damn thing I said? I'm tryin' to do right by you damn it. This is already set. The house is paid for, the jobs are there."

Daryl shook his head even harder. "Stop tryin' to do right by me, damn it. All you're doin' is fuckin' things up even worse. I ain't leavin' till I get a phone call."

Merle scowled. "Good luck. They shut it off first thing this mornin'."

"What!" Daryl barked, feeling like the floor had just opened up and he was falling down a tunnel. Panic crawled up his throat. "Tell me you didn't have the goddamn phone shut off, Merle," he snapped, leaning heavily into the doorway. He was okay with leaving but he couldn't d that until he talked to her. He had to talk to her, tell her what was going on, give her an address or something and plan out a place for her to be so he could get a hold of her when the phone was back on.

"We need a fresh start," Merle said, unaware of the turmoil he had just caused, the pain he had just inflicted.

"I had that, you son of a bitch. Why the hell would you have the fuckin' phone shut off?"

Merle ignored him and all he could do now was walk away from the man.

He didn't know what to do now. She wouldn't have any way to get a hold of him and even if he somehow made it back out there he had no idea how to find her. It was over. Completely fucking over. She was gone and he would never know if she had made it. If she was okay. Merle hadn't meant any harm, he knew that, but he had shattered everything like it was glass. Every dream he had harbored of being with her again, all flushed away. He had felt heartbreak when he left her but now he was falling into total despair. And there wasn't anything he could do about it.

~H~

Other than the fact that she missed Daryl more than she thought humanly possible, things were still looking up a little. She had made it to Palm Springs California before dark and decided to stay there for the night. It seemed like a relatively safe place and she had been tired from crying so much. She had stopped off at a gas station to fill up the van, grabbing a news paper on a whim and then got herself a room on the outskirts of the city, since she wouldn't dare try to pay for anything within the actual City of Palm springs.

She had sat alone at the small table, reading through the paper and eating a cheeseburger when she noticed an add for an open fashion show going on downtown. It had excited her, as did the prospect of getting to talk to Daryl so with a heavy heart, but a glimmer of hope on the horizon, she had gone to bed. Sleep didn't come very quickly, despite how tired she was. Every night for weeks now she had gone to sleep in his arms. The loneliness had been crushing but she kept telling herself over and over that she would hear his voice tomorrow, if only she could go to sleep.

After what felt like most the night, she had drifted off but her sleep wasn't very restful. She woke up several times, wondering why his warm body wasn't wrapped around hers. Twice when she realized that he wasn't there, and wouldn't be for some time, she had cried herself back to sleep. She felt miserable and pathetic and all she wanted to do was check out of the motel, get back in the van and drive her ass back to Georgia where she belonged.

The next morning she was eager to get herself to a pay phone and make that much needed call. The thought of hearing him had her mood soaring. It wouldn't be the same as talking to him face to face but if she could just hear him then maybe she would be okay. And if not, at least she would be a little better.

She wasn't going to call him collect. Instead she cashed in five ones for quarters and hurried to the phone. She must have dialed the wrong number because a computerized voice informed her that the number she had reached had been disconnect or was no longer in service. She knew that he had looked over the number several times to make sure he had it right and he had written them down neatly so none of the numbers could be mistaken for a different one. By her fourth try she was hitting the buttons with shaking fingers.

Finally, her mind almost numb, she stepped away from the phone and walked slowly towards the van. The number was wrong. She didn't have an address for him and even if she did and she wrote a letter, how long would it take him to get back to her? And where would she eve have him send it? The phone was their only touchstone. If the number was wrong then she wouldn't be able to find him. And she had to talk to him, to let him know that she was okay and know that he was okay herself. She just needed to hear his voice.

It was barely daybreak there on the west coast so she had some time to kill before she could crash the fashion show and take any pictures. She wasn't sure where to go so she just went back to her room and sat down at the table, that numbness holding back a dam of emotions that were threatening to drown her. The numbness wasn't bad. It was better than the pain she knew was coming. She would gladly take the numbness over that.

~H~

Two thousand miles apart didn't seem to hinder the bond that the two of them shared. Once the numbness wore away Carol found herself curled up in the bed in the motel room outside of Palm Springs, the feeling of loss so all consuming that she felt as though her whole being was drained of everything but pain. Because she knew that it was over. Something had happened and she was alone. She wouldn't hear his voice again. She wouldn't get a chance to touch him again.

At that same moment, standing in the back yard of the house he had grown up in, Daryl finally let it all sink in that it was really over. Nothing his dad had ever said, nothing the man had ever done, could hold a candle to the pain that slammed into his chest. He managed to get just beyond the tree line behind their house before his legs felt too weak to carry him. He leaned his back against a tree and slid down, his head in his hands, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as every hope he had ever harbored of being with her again fell to dust and blew away.

Hours past before either of them were able to put themselves back together enough to put on a brave face. The pain and loss, however, was there to stay. It would become something that they both simply learned to live with. Just as completely as that unexpected love had changed them in the brief time they had together, the pain did the same. The man that walked out of the woods that day was a different man. And the woman that finally stepped out of that motel room, was a different woman. Both just a little bit harder than they had been before.

Both of them knowing, and understanding, that they weren't really complete, but would still have to somehow endure.

… To be continued

 **Okay, you guys, this is it. And let me just say that I've had a lot of fun posting for this. There hasn't been any drama or anything and that was pretty awesome. I appreciate all of you that gave this story a shot and I hope you aren't regretting it. Now, with that said, here's what's up.**

 **So, years ago, when I actually wrote this, I left it as is... for about 3 days. I couldn't leave it the way I left it however. A few of my fandom friends read it and agreed it needed a sequel. So, the question was, do I do a ZA sequel, or keep it a No ZA story? People made good arguments for both and I couldn't decide. So, I went ahead and wrote both versions.(I know-_-) So, yeah, that was the issue. There are two. So, what the hell do I post? The No ZA is on the fluffy side with most of the angst and what have you coming from brother Merle and the ZA one has more group activity. So, what to do? Post them both? Take a vote? I'm lost. So, that's it. Drop me a line if you have an opinion on the matter! I'm all ears!**


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